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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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Oh yeah, there's a bunch of wings over here. Just a plate of wings. Just one plate of wings.

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That's it. I go and I take one wing and I just hold it. Yeah, that's gonna become currency later.

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Pleasure to have you. Nice to see you here. What can I do for you? Brought a very extreme energy and I'm here for it.

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What's your name?

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Jason. Okay, Jason. Jason Halfmanzoukas.

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Right.

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Did you get the gift baskets? They are gift baskets. They're bags. I oversold it. They're just bags. What's in them?

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Oh, you can go pick a bag. Yeah, and I push through the crowd and I run to the bags.

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It's like, well, I'm gonna use the first wish to make this the most epic party ever.

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That's what we fade out on as streamers are going, fireworks are going off.

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The dogs are barking. It's fucking wild. The 60 people who are at this party are having the best fucking time of their lives.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He, him also with me today is Karla Maxedad.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He, him also with me today is Karla Maxedad.

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She, her, I will be playing Neroxious Akra, better known as Glim.

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Also she, her.

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And Amy More.

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Yes!

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She, her, and I will be playing Sullivan Slyte, he, him.

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And also with me, Tom Laird!

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Hey, that's me, he, him, and I'm playing Moot, and who also goes by he, him.

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Also with us today is a whole bunch of our patrons.

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So many patrons!

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Oh boy.

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We got Aaron.

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The number's 18 right there.

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That's right.

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We got Aaron.

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We got Adam.

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We got Chris.

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We got John.

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We got Jonathan.

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We got Kat.

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We got Cathy.

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We got Kayla.

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We got Lori.

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We got NerdDowell.

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We got Sean.

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And we got Jess.

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Hello everybody!

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Thank you for coming!

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Thank you for joining us so early where we are, probably more reasonable where

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you are.

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Just like a normal time for you guys, mostly.

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But the name of the game today is we don't want to make any decisions except

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for reacting to the ones that you decide that we do.

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Yeah, so just reactions.

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We just want to react.

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We don't live proactively, just reactively, right?

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It's dedicated to all of our patrons because you helped us make it here.

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If you're listening to this after the fact, come join us at Patreon.com

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slash dumb dragoncast.

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Not you because you're here already, but the other people listening who aren't

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already on.

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This is going to be a great way to come.

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Fuck it!

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Let's play!

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Thank you for interrupting yourself.

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Really saved yourself from that tailspin.

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What if one of us did it?

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I'd never even crossed my mind that we could.

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Oh.

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But maybe we could?

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But could we just be like, I'm really done.

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Just cut Russ off by screaming, fuck it, let's play.

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Listening to Russ.

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Yeah, I'm going to scream, fuck it, let's play.

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All right, well that's in the back pocket now.

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You can tell when I'm about to start because usually Tom jumps in when I'm about

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to say it with something that is unrelated to whatever we're about to do.

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I like to call it a topic change.

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Ah, yes.

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So in the chat, we need a name of a town that these fine folks are going to be coming

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into.

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Mooklem and Sully, you're out.

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You have just, you know, you're wandering through a forest, a long and winding road.

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You've just left the ship for whatever reason because we haven't recorded those

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episodes yet, but you're on the way, you're on the road again, and you come

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upon a sign ahead of you.

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City Townville?

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Do you still know how to make a name?

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I think it's, I think it's City Townsville.

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There's no S, City Townville.

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I think it maybe is the best name because it's all of the, like it really, you

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know that when you get there, there's going to be like probably a square and

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some commerce and people.

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It's got all this stuff of a city townville.

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Well, yeah, but I mean, like I've been to lots of places, Clem, and I don't mean

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to shoot down what you're saying because I totally see what you're saying.

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However, like a city and a town and a ville are three different levels of like

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placeology, you know, like, like a city is enormous, but I think it's more of

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like maybe you walk through the ville to get to the town to then get to the

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city. I was thinking like a tiered system, like, like it's all city and

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then you go up some steps and then there's a town and then you go up some

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more steps and then there's a village and then you go up some more steps and

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who knows what's up there.

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And then you're in heaven?

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Probably some kind of, yeah, like maybe just Bahamut's chilling up there and

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you can be like, hey bro, how are you doing up here?

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That'd be pretty cool.

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Every town you come to, do you secretly hope that you're just going to

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find Bahamut chilling out?

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Obviously.

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Yeah, I mean, he might be in one of the ones, right?

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Like he could just be chilling.

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Doy me.

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Hey, you cool kids.

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Oh, guys, I've been chasing you for so long.

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Oh, God.

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Hi.

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Hi, Hillop.

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So that was you screaming about a few miles back there?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, no, I was in the little dinghy raft trying to chase down your big

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pirate ship that you had absconded.

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Well, I wouldn't say it's a big pirate ship.

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The barge right in is not a pirate ship.

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Oh, well, it's good to see you guys.

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What's up?

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Is there something wrong with like the Bahamaniacs or are you...

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Is the Bahamaniacs jobs are rolling fine?

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Nobody's complaining to HR at all.

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Oh, that's a weird fact to bring up.

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Yeah, weird that you brought it up.

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We've run out of baguettes, which is kind of an issue.

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It's a real drain on the wheat fields.

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We got to get creative.

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Yeah.

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You got to go gluten free.

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Oh, OK.

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So like rice baguettes.

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Yeah, try it out.

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Yeah.

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OK, cool.

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So what are we doing here?

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Maybe we go inside and get some some grubs like like like insects.

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Is that what you're?

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No, it's yes.

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Some yum yums in my tum tums.

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Oh, well, we're like together.

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We're going to City Townvale.

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Is that where you're?

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Yeah, no, actually, actually, absolutely.

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That's where we're setting up a new Bahamaniacs later.

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Don't worry about it.

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It's going to actually we're going to talk about renaming

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the town of City Townville.

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We'll talk about that later.

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That's OK.

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I'm sorry.

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You're setting up an exercise group and they're going to let you rename the town.

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It's a courtesy.

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Yes.

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I mean, Bahamaniacs is pretty life changing for everybody

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once you start getting into that Zumba.

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So yeah, I mean, if we can get like the mayor

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and most of the city council on board in Zumba classes,

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I feel like there's a chance.

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OK, well, let's go talk to the mayor.

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I wonder who the mayor is here.

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I'm going to pull Glim aside as we start to walk again and just say,

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do not let him switch to gluten free bread.

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No one will want it.

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Oh, just telling you,

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not even the people who need gluten free bread want gluten free bread.

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Glim, you never say where you're going first.

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You ask him where he's going first,

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and then you're not going to the same place.

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Oh, yes.

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Oh, I forgot I got some.

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Yeah, OK.

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Which is too nice.

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Hey, you guys, I found somebody who knows the name of the mayor, right?

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What? Sorry, sir.

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What did you say the name of the mayor was?

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Oh, sorry, the mayor's mom neck breaker.

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Oh, wow, that is quite the name.

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His name is mom.

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His name is his name is mom neck breaker.

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Like, like my mom.

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What's mom short for?

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Uh, Miriam.

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Oh, Miriam.

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Maryamal.

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Maryamal.

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Maryamal.

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Yeah, it's like Maryamal.

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Yeah, like, but different in facets.

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Oh, OK.

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Yeah, seems pretty straightforward.

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Oh, OK.

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And do you know where?

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I have so many questions about mom.

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Do you know where we could find him?

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Is he as intimidating as the name neck breaker would lead me to believe?

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Oh, probably not.

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No, they're very small, small in stature, a very nice person.

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Neck breaker is more of a family name.

199
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Yeah, yeah.

200
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Long line of neck breakers.

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And who are you?

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I'm Glu-Tun.

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Oh, it's so nice to meet you, Glu.

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We were curious about how City Townsville works.

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Like, is it like tiered or is there different areas or is it just one?

206
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Is it all three of the things?

207
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Oh, yes.

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Is Bahama just chillin' somewhere?

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Yeah, I know.

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That's the real question.

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City Townsville is more of a suburb of the town.

212
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You know, there's the Cityville township.

213
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And then there's the hamlets, of course.

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There's the city, the ville, and then the towns.

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Is there a Cityville proper?

216
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Exactly. Yes, that's exactly it.

217
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Yep.

218
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Well, that's not confusing at all.

219
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Why would it be?

220
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That's what I said.

221
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So where's the mayor?

222
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:07,220
Oh, probably at the job, the job postings.

223
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So what day is it today?

224
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Sunday morning, about 915 Mountain.

225
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He's probably at the job postings.

226
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Is the mayor just picking up random jobs?

227
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,980
No, they post them.

228
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They post the job.

229
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That makes sense.

230
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Also, they're like government positions posted.

231
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Could be government positions posted.

232
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You guys, working for the city makes you a lot more gold than it does

233
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just a regular smough.

234
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Yeah, we probably want to get there because they're fresh.

235
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Like if he's just putting them up now, we want to be the first ones

236
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there to like get our pick of the choice assignments.

237
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Well, and the more city towns or villas we go to and we like make a name

238
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for ourselves.

239
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Oh, all right.

240
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Right. We get like some legacy going on here.

241
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Well, it's nice. Nice talking to you.

242
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Yeah, you too, Glue.

243
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You too, Glue.

244
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You head through the town of City Townsville.

245
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It's a nice, quiet town.

246
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You know, everybody's just waking up.

247
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The baker is putting out the fresh breads.

248
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The librarian is doing, you know, just banging out the books.

249
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:16,139
You say banging the books together.

250
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Like dusting them off, you know, like librarians do.

251
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You know how librarians do.

252
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OK, who didn't grow up having to, wishing to be the person

253
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who banged off the chalkboard erasers?

254
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,820
I know. It's like banged off is probably not.

255
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We're really from another time

256
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:38,060
when you say, like, doesn't it seem like in 1853,

257
00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:42,379
the really choice assignment in the school room was to clean the erasers.

258
00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:47,820
But God forbid you hit the school with those because I mean, like, holy shit.

259
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,780
Big trouble. Yeah.

260
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:51,300
Is it like that, but with books?

261
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,780
You did. You didn't.

262
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,660
You are about six months younger than me.

263
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,700
No, I did. I hit it against the school.

264
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,940
Oh, you hit against the school. You monsters.

265
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:00,500
I know.

266
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,780
I didn't know I was married to such a bad boy, you guys.

267
00:12:02,819 --> 00:12:04,500
And he runs our game.

268
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,579
Oh, boy. This explains a lot.

269
00:12:06,579 --> 00:12:08,139
I've got chills. Not today, everybody.

270
00:12:08,139 --> 00:12:10,459
Anyway, so she's doing that with books outside as well.

271
00:12:10,659 --> 00:12:12,860
That's that's the imagery I was going for.

272
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:15,059
Dust everywhere, books lapping together.

273
00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:17,419
Occasionally hear one of them, one of them yelp.

274
00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:22,019
Because it's a mimic.

275
00:12:23,019 --> 00:12:24,459
Maybe, you don't know.

276
00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:27,980
But you pass down by the librarian without giving too much thought about it,

277
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:31,220
and you make your way to the town center where you see a big job

278
00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:33,980
post job board post posting sign.

279
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,700
Posting. Is he a big job board?

280
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:38,820
Oh, a job board posting sign right there in the town center.

281
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:40,340
That's right. Right there in town center.

282
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,779
And you see just a small, just a small halfling there

283
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:48,460
reaching, straining with, I don't know why I'm stuck in this accent now.

284
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:50,300
Just embrace it.

285
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,660
Yeah, just straining to reach up and try and put the papers

286
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:56,180
up there with a little thumbtack.

287
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:57,700
And a hammer? Yeah.

288
00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:03,620
Good morning.

289
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:07,139
Oh, oh, oh, good morning there.

290
00:13:07,779 --> 00:13:08,540
Pleasure to meet you.

291
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:09,620
Hey, you're tall.

292
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,460
Could you put this up high?

293
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,460
Absolutely. Are you?

294
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,300
And I take the postings and start putting things up.

295
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:19,460
Are you the mayor?

296
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,700
Yep, that's me, mom.

297
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,899
Neck breaker. Look at me.

298
00:13:21,899 --> 00:13:23,259
I'm a neck breaker, obviously.

299
00:13:23,259 --> 00:13:25,420
You look like a neck breaker. Yeah.

300
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:27,899
Huh. Well, we're just kind of cruising through town

301
00:13:27,899 --> 00:13:29,139
looking for some work.

302
00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:34,819
So, so perfect that we ended up here with all of these great postings.

303
00:13:35,779 --> 00:13:37,579
So many. Wow.

304
00:13:37,579 --> 00:13:43,139
City, CityTownsville is a great hub for for all things happening in.

305
00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:46,819
I mean, basically judging by the number of jobs posting here

306
00:13:46,819 --> 00:13:51,179
in the entire region, there's we've we're a filter city.

307
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:55,779
We filter through all of the things and then send people back out to do jobs.

308
00:13:55,779 --> 00:13:58,059
So, yeah, have a look and see what you like here.

309
00:13:58,059 --> 00:13:59,939
This this one just kind of jumped in.

310
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,579
It's it's one of my favorites that came in recently.

311
00:14:02,779 --> 00:14:06,819
It's a need to change a pace, require an instructor

312
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:11,339
learned in local law to tutor my child will reward.

313
00:14:11,339 --> 00:14:13,059
Are you guys good with local law?

314
00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:16,139
Will reward you with a land deed. Wow.

315
00:14:16,779 --> 00:14:18,980
It says you must not smell.

316
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:22,179
Does that mean you shouldn't be stinky or should your olfactory

317
00:14:22,179 --> 00:14:23,500
systems be on the fritz?

318
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,299
Who's this one from?

319
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,340
Oh, it's Jennings Electro Sprocket.

320
00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,020
Must not smell. They probably don't want you to stink real bad.

321
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:31,020
OK, all right.

322
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,540
Yeah, I mean, you two are fine. Oh, my gosh.

323
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,500
Some others here.

324
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,660
Um, I seem to have made a mistake with my experiment.

325
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,860
I don't think my book should eat one another.

326
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:43,660
Please help contain them. Interesting.

327
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:44,620
What about this one?

328
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:48,100
Taco Monsters kidnapping Zumba participants.

329
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,260
Check local cave.

330
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,740
I mean, that seems OK.

331
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,180
First of all,

332
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:56,940
Hillip, I thought you said there wasn't a Baja Maniacs here yet.

333
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:59,180
So does that mean there's a competing Zumba studio?

334
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:02,539
Because Glim, Glim, let me be serious with you right now.

335
00:15:02,539 --> 00:15:03,180
I would appreciate it.

336
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,740
There is no Baja Maniacs here yet.

337
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:09,700
I was actually coming to completely squash the competition.

338
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,700
But you beat me here before I got here.

339
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:16,580
But maybe that's something that we we could take care of

340
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:20,980
by this taco monster that just randomly showed up.

341
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,700
No one no one knows how the taco monster got there.

342
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,139
Was it Tuesday?

343
00:15:25,139 --> 00:15:26,180
What do you think, Moot?

344
00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:27,379
Anything look good?

345
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:29,259
You interested in anything?

346
00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:31,340
Um, there's one.

347
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,740
I know we're not usually like housekeepers,

348
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:36,259
but looking for a new housekeeper for more info.

349
00:15:36,259 --> 00:15:37,740
Come to the dark castle at midnight.

350
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,220
I mean, dark castle at midnight.

351
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,420
That sounds pretty cool.

352
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,500
Oh, well, what about this one?

353
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,139
Cat missing, small, brown and very friendly.

354
00:15:44,139 --> 00:15:47,860
Also a portal to hell has opened in my basement, maybe related.

355
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:49,100
Hmm.

356
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:52,860
Oh, I seem to have lost my pet rock at the quarry.

357
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,899
It's dark gray with white speckles.

358
00:15:54,899 --> 00:15:56,419
Please bring it back to me.

359
00:15:56,419 --> 00:15:57,340
Seems like an easy one.

360
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,980
I feel like that's going to be impossible.

361
00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:02,180
How would you find they're all that color?

362
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:04,620
Like needle in a haystack kind of situation.

363
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:07,259
Oh, I guess I thought because it was a pet rock,

364
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,740
it would have more of a personality.

365
00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,740
It would sort of stand out and we could just go.

366
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:11,460
OK, yeah.

367
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,420
But I see what you're saying.

368
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:15,060
It probably is a bit googly eyes on it or something.

369
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,860
Exactly.

370
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:20,980
Hey, mom, neck breaker, quick question for you.

371
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,740
If I was about, let's say, just randomly six inches taller,

372
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,940
would you have leaned on me to get the job done

373
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:28,580
of reaching the higher posting?

374
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,340
Oh, yeah, probably.

375
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,779
You're just a little too much of a small fry

376
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:33,940
to reach that top corner.

377
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:34,980
That's what I keep telling them.

378
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:35,860
OK.

379
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:36,419
All right.

380
00:16:36,419 --> 00:16:37,419
I thought as much.

381
00:16:37,419 --> 00:16:38,580
I just I just wanted to check.

382
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,300
A bit of a compLex?

383
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:40,100
No, no, nothing.

384
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,620
Nothing happened at all in the past.

385
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,259
That's right.

386
00:16:42,299 --> 00:16:47,340
Totally respectable in tie me up has been robbed.

387
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,419
Speak to the owner for details.

388
00:16:50,419 --> 00:16:53,100
I think maybe we can just stop there later.

389
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,740
They say it's totally respectable.

390
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:56,379
I mean, an interesting way to preface.

391
00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:57,059
That's for sure.

392
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,419
Well, so many options, guys.

393
00:16:58,419 --> 00:16:59,340
What do you think?

394
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,139
Dark castle at midnight.

395
00:17:01,139 --> 00:17:03,740
I guess you've kind of shot down the quarry idea,

396
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,339
but that's OK.

397
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:06,539
Well, there was two at the quarry.

398
00:17:06,539 --> 00:17:08,019
We could maybe multitask with two.

399
00:17:08,019 --> 00:17:09,379
Yeah, I mean, the missing cat.

400
00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:10,819
That sounds nice.

401
00:17:10,819 --> 00:17:12,099
Oh, yeah, and the portal.

402
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,219
You guys, I think I found it.

403
00:17:14,219 --> 00:17:18,059
My great Grammy keeps getting into fights with her neighbor.

404
00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:21,459
If you can get them to stop arguing, I'll pay you 10 gold.

405
00:17:21,459 --> 00:17:24,859
I'm tired of taking them to clerics when they wrestle.

406
00:17:24,859 --> 00:17:29,899
See, Aunt Fourth, Uncle Hitter for more info.

407
00:17:29,899 --> 00:17:32,179
I mean, I don't know about you,

408
00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:34,259
but a good granny brawl is always.

409
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:36,579
You love a fighting granny.

410
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:37,259
You really do.

411
00:17:37,259 --> 00:17:38,740
And a rapping granny.

412
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,579
And if they're doing both at the same time,

413
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:42,500
it's like my birthday or something.

414
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,699
Yeah, rap battle granny.

415
00:17:43,699 --> 00:17:45,579
Let's go see rap battle granny.

416
00:17:45,579 --> 00:17:46,379
What do you think?

417
00:17:46,379 --> 00:17:47,019
Yeah, let's do it.

418
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:47,779
Let's do it.

419
00:17:47,779 --> 00:17:49,779
Yeah, it sounds like a great idea.

420
00:17:49,779 --> 00:17:50,740
Loving it.

421
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,939
It's going to be so good.

422
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:57,460
I like how we're also kind of subsequently punishing

423
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,859
wrestlers at the same time.

424
00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:01,899
I can't wait to hear this granny rap.

425
00:18:01,899 --> 00:18:02,699
Yeah, me too.

426
00:18:02,699 --> 00:18:03,339
It's going to be great.

427
00:18:03,339 --> 00:18:04,059
Two of them.

428
00:18:04,059 --> 00:18:06,619
It's a rap battle.

429
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,179
I didn't think I saw that one.

430
00:18:08,179 --> 00:18:09,899
That's OK.

431
00:18:10,019 --> 00:18:10,620
You saw it.

432
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,700
You just refuse to acknowledge it.

433
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,100
See, right there.

434
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,780
Well, yeah, you just got to go down to Uncle 4th Antsville's.

435
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:19,380
What?

436
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:22,580
Aunt 4th Uncle Hitter.

437
00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:25,860
Yeah, you just got to go see Aunt 4th Uncle Hitter.

438
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,420
They live down on Main.

439
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:27,940
Great.

440
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,100
Well, it was so nice to meet you.

441
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:30,940
Oh, yeah, it's great.

442
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:32,500
Thanks, Mom.

443
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,220
Anytime there, dear.

444
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,660
Anytime you just want to come reach high things.

445
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,820
Always looking for someone to reach a high thing.

446
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,460
If you want to reach a really high place,

447
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,740
maybe I could tell you about this cool guy I know,

448
00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:46,419
and he'll take you to the top number.

449
00:18:46,419 --> 00:18:47,339
Sorry, got to go.

450
00:18:51,179 --> 00:18:52,099
Great in, though.

451
00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:53,939
Got a city to run.

452
00:18:53,939 --> 00:18:55,579
I mean, it was just sitting there.

453
00:18:55,579 --> 00:18:56,579
He put it right out there.

454
00:18:56,579 --> 00:18:58,259
Yeah, you can't pass that one up.

455
00:18:58,259 --> 00:19:01,019
So you head down to Main, to the address

456
00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,099
that clearly Mom told you.

457
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:08,779
And you hear yelling, like pretty intense yelling

458
00:19:08,779 --> 00:19:13,740
coming from down a few houses.

459
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:17,740
It's mostly garbled from where you're standing now.

460
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:23,339
It's just more like, oh, snap, yes, mew, mew, mew, mew, mew.

461
00:19:23,339 --> 00:19:26,619
Oh, man, it really sounds like they're getting into it.

462
00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:28,619
I think we might have found the right place.

463
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:31,019
Oh, god, I don't know if we should have chosen this one

464
00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:33,099
as a way to help the town, because I may just

465
00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:38,339
want to watch instead of actually do something.

466
00:19:38,419 --> 00:19:40,779
Maybe they'll just tire themselves out, though.

467
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:41,259
Maybe.

468
00:19:41,259 --> 00:19:43,259
Yeah, but would you put up an ad if they were just

469
00:19:43,259 --> 00:19:44,299
going to tire themselves out?

470
00:19:44,299 --> 00:19:44,779
It's true.

471
00:19:44,779 --> 00:19:47,859
It must be, like, really nonstop for someone

472
00:19:47,859 --> 00:19:49,659
to take the time to put up an ad

473
00:19:49,659 --> 00:19:52,299
and submit it through the city's official portal

474
00:19:52,299 --> 00:19:55,459
for the mayor to go post up on the job board, so.

475
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:59,259
All right, well, let's get these fiery grandmas.

476
00:19:59,259 --> 00:20:02,459
You head down, and you come to the front door.

477
00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:04,220
And it's a little cracked open.

478
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:08,860
You hear yelling coming out from the back of the house.

479
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:09,539
I knock.

480
00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:10,980
You know, my signature knock.

481
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:15,940
That's the one.

482
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:16,740
That's it.

483
00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:18,860
Is that not everyone's signature?

484
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:19,360
Yes.

485
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:22,740
There's no answer.

486
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:25,579
Is there, like, a side yard we could go down and kind

487
00:20:25,579 --> 00:20:28,740
of look to see if they're peer over the fence?

488
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:30,100
Yeah, are they in the backyard?

489
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,579
Yes, yes, they are.

490
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:34,019
You head down the side yard, and you come into the back,

491
00:20:34,019 --> 00:20:37,099
and you see a little old lady.

492
00:20:37,099 --> 00:20:41,099
And she's in just the nightiest of nightgowns.

493
00:20:41,099 --> 00:20:42,019
She's got her.

494
00:20:42,019 --> 00:20:43,059
Wait.

495
00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:46,579
Wait, I have, yeah, sexy or, like, flannel-y?

496
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,619
Because I feel like the nightiest of nightgowns

497
00:20:48,619 --> 00:20:52,779
kind of went two ways in my mind.

498
00:20:52,779 --> 00:20:56,099
On one side of the fence, the side you're on,

499
00:20:56,099 --> 00:20:58,139
it's flannel.

500
00:20:58,139 --> 00:20:59,819
On the other side of the fence,

501
00:20:59,819 --> 00:21:03,220
there's another granny who's wearing

502
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,579
more of a negligee.

503
00:21:05,579 --> 00:21:06,900
Yeah.

504
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:07,420
Good for her.

505
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:10,140
A little bit of a teddy kind of thing going on.

506
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:11,500
Wow.

507
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:12,500
Yeah.

508
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,220
Any faux fur have it?

509
00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:16,059
There's a mercant.

510
00:21:16,059 --> 00:21:18,660
I assume she's wearing those slide-on mules

511
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:21,019
with the, like, boa, you know, the ones?

512
00:21:21,019 --> 00:21:21,519
Yes.

513
00:21:21,519 --> 00:21:22,900
Yeah.

514
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:23,900
Yeah.

515
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:26,299
Well, I'm glad she hasn't lost her sexuality.

516
00:21:26,299 --> 00:21:27,860
You know, that doesn't just go away

517
00:21:27,860 --> 00:21:28,980
because you get older.

518
00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:30,100
Sure.

519
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,220
She's got needs.

520
00:21:31,220 --> 00:21:33,339
The need to wear incredibly uncomfortable lingerie,

521
00:21:33,339 --> 00:21:34,779
apparently, in her backyard.

522
00:21:34,779 --> 00:21:35,980
The need to speed.

523
00:21:35,980 --> 00:21:38,460
So I call, hello?

524
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:40,940
I'm quickly really making sure the pamphlets that I have

525
00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:43,819
with me are quite well-hidden because I have had not

526
00:21:43,819 --> 00:21:46,420
great success if I knock or approach a house

527
00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:47,980
with the pamphlets visible.

528
00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:48,480
Yeah.

529
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:48,980
Sure.

530
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:51,019
Yeah, we've been turned down for just, like,

531
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,180
a lot of different places.

532
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:54,539
So I make sure those are well-hidden away,

533
00:21:54,539 --> 00:21:57,220
even though I pulled one out to give to the mayor.

534
00:21:57,220 --> 00:22:01,380
Sick and tired of your lewd garden gnomes,

535
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:04,380
just creeping into my garden.

536
00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:05,740
Excuse me, ma'am?

537
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,740
Why?

538
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:08,240
We could.

539
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:08,740
Oh, hi.

540
00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:09,740
Oh.

541
00:22:09,740 --> 00:22:11,420
Hi, sorry.

542
00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:12,299
Hello.

543
00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:13,380
This is a little bit Flamikins,

544
00:22:13,380 --> 00:22:14,660
but it's just an old lady.

545
00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:16,539
It's not Flamikins.

546
00:22:16,539 --> 00:22:17,579
Maybe it could be.

547
00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:21,819
Maybe Flamikins is a little bit older now.

548
00:22:21,819 --> 00:22:24,579
I would explain the Teddy.

549
00:22:24,579 --> 00:22:27,059
Yeah, which granny are we talking to right now?

550
00:22:27,059 --> 00:22:28,819
You're probably talking to the flannel granny.

551
00:22:28,819 --> 00:22:31,299
Flannel granny, OK.

552
00:22:31,299 --> 00:22:36,139
I'm so sorry to interrupt your screaming.

553
00:22:36,139 --> 00:22:39,539
However, we thought maybe we could, we just,

554
00:22:39,539 --> 00:22:42,619
we heard some distress and just thought

555
00:22:42,619 --> 00:22:44,980
we could maybe help out.

556
00:22:44,980 --> 00:22:47,099
What, Aunt Forrest, Uncle Hitter sent you?

557
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,940
Well, not us particularly.

558
00:22:49,940 --> 00:22:52,179
Just, like, it was like a cry for help.

559
00:22:52,179 --> 00:22:53,819
Yeah, and it was on the job board.

560
00:22:53,819 --> 00:22:55,819
They put this on the job board?

561
00:22:55,819 --> 00:22:56,319
Oh, God.

562
00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:59,399
The sexy you two are really, really

563
00:22:59,399 --> 00:23:01,079
causing a ruckus, you two.

564
00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:02,359
Well, yes, we are.

565
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:07,799
See, she keeps stealing my sexy gnomes.

566
00:23:07,799 --> 00:23:09,639
And are you stealing the sexy gnomes?

567
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:10,599
I'm not stealing them.

568
00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:12,559
They just, they find their way over here.

569
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:15,359
So the gnomes are alive and moving?

570
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,359
They're alive with the sound of music.

571
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,159
And sexy.

572
00:23:19,159 --> 00:23:20,159
Look at them.

573
00:23:20,159 --> 00:23:21,799
Whoa.

574
00:23:21,799 --> 00:23:23,240
And they're very sexy.

575
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,559
I would assume very sexy gnomes.

576
00:23:25,599 --> 00:23:27,639
Well, this one has his pants down.

577
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:28,519
Do you see that one?

578
00:23:28,519 --> 00:23:31,599
And he's got his junk buried in the face of a flower.

579
00:23:34,879 --> 00:23:38,279
You haven't even seen the one giving it to the toadstool yet.

580
00:23:38,279 --> 00:23:40,079
Aw, damn, where's that one?

581
00:23:40,079 --> 00:23:42,679
It's probably crept over onto that side there.

582
00:23:42,679 --> 00:23:44,039
Now, you keep saying crept over,

583
00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:46,119
like you didn't put them there.

584
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,200
Why would I put them there?

585
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,359
They're my gnomes from her.

586
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,839
So you're implying that they move themselves?

587
00:23:50,839 --> 00:23:52,759
They were a gift to me.

588
00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:54,960
But she's saying that they're hers?

589
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,920
No, she's saying that they creep, creepin' over

590
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,840
because she doesn't like how sexy they look,

591
00:23:58,840 --> 00:23:59,840
which is very odd,

592
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,600
depend, you know, judging by the way she dresses.

593
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,480
Okay, okay, let me get this straight.

594
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,640
She wants to be the star attraction,

595
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,120
not the sexy garden gnomes.

596
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:13,120
Granny with the flanny has lew garden gnomes.

597
00:24:13,559 --> 00:24:14,400
Yep.

598
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,960
That sexy grandma over here

599
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,519
Finds offensive.

600
00:24:19,519 --> 00:24:20,360
Finds offensive.

601
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,440
Yeah.

602
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,480
Oh, okay.

603
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,440
But, okay.

604
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,880
So, so there's no stealing going on?

605
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,279
Yes, she's stealing them.

606
00:24:32,279 --> 00:24:34,200
Oh, sexy grandma's taking your gnomes.

607
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,240
She's taking the gnomes.

608
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,079
Oh, sexy grandma.

609
00:24:36,079 --> 00:24:37,200
She says she doesn't like them.

610
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,759
Are you just, and I'm so sorry,

611
00:24:38,759 --> 00:24:39,880
I haven't asked your names,

612
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,839
but I think the labels we have going on are working.

613
00:24:42,839 --> 00:24:45,400
Yeah, flanny and sexy, you're fine with,

614
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,079
I mean, it makes sense.

615
00:24:47,079 --> 00:24:47,920
Are you guys okay with that?

616
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,559
Because the voices are basically the same.

617
00:24:49,559 --> 00:24:51,759
Yeah, I get confused.

618
00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:55,079
Could I ask a question about the gnomes?

619
00:24:55,079 --> 00:24:57,279
Because they are quite unique.

620
00:24:57,279 --> 00:25:02,160
I've not seen, so I'm just wondering if you,

621
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,920
maybe they were like a gift from the fae

622
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,319
or maybe a gift from an ex.

623
00:25:07,319 --> 00:25:09,559
Well, they were a gift from Grandpa Hot Pants.

624
00:25:09,559 --> 00:25:12,000
Oh, Grandpa Hot Pants.

625
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,559
Who is Grandpa Hot Pants?

626
00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:14,839
He's my sugar daddy.

627
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:16,799
Oh.

628
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:19,240
Says Granny in the flanny.

629
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,079
Oh.

630
00:25:20,079 --> 00:25:20,920
Well, yeah, flanny granny,

631
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,800
she's the owner of, you know.

632
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:23,640
I'm gonna try and make it the same.

633
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,320
This is Granny in the flanny.

634
00:25:28,039 --> 00:25:30,800
And this is, fuck, they're all the same.

635
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,720
Can maybe she just have like a more,

636
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,200
like sultry tone to her?

637
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,039
Because she's sexy Granny.

638
00:25:37,039 --> 00:25:38,240
This is her voice now.

639
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,360
I'm sorry, is that your sultry voice?

640
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,200
Oh, Amy.

641
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,400
I know, are you guys jealous?

642
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,400
I wake up to that voice every morning.

643
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,240
This is my very sexual voice.

644
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,759
I can picture us pouring on the charm now

645
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:51,879
and it all makes so much sense.

646
00:25:51,879 --> 00:25:52,920
And they say, no,

647
00:25:54,279 --> 00:25:55,480
because you've got a little bit of Chris

648
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,160
or Kavin Hart going on here.

649
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,319
Yeah, this is sexy Granny.

650
00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:03,920
Okay.

651
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,039
I'm so horny right now.

652
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,759
Well, you've seen the gnomes.

653
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:10,599
I've, right?

654
00:26:10,599 --> 00:26:11,440
Anyways, Granny.

655
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:12,720
I mean, they are very sexy.

656
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,640
There's like, there's one all in leather

657
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,960
and one like in a little lace outfit

658
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,759
that has the one in leather on a leash.

659
00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:21,119
There's the one in the swing in the back too.

660
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,559
Yeah.

661
00:26:22,559 --> 00:26:24,039
Well, actually it's not one in the swing.

662
00:26:24,039 --> 00:26:26,000
That's several in the swing.

663
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:26,839
Who knows swings.

664
00:26:26,839 --> 00:26:27,960
I mean, if you're gonna have a swing,

665
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,279
you may as well swing in it.

666
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,000
That's what you have.

667
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,440
If they move themselves,

668
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,799
how does the one with the hood

669
00:26:35,799 --> 00:26:37,480
and the zipper over the mouth,

670
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,359
how does he get around?

671
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,359
Well, because he still has arms and legs.

672
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:41,359
Oh no, now hold on.

673
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:42,680
If you look behind him,

674
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,440
he's got a butt plug with a leash on it.

675
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:45,279
So.

676
00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:46,099
Oh, yep.

677
00:26:46,099 --> 00:26:46,940
Okay.

678
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:47,779
Here we go.

679
00:26:47,779 --> 00:26:48,619
That makes sense.

680
00:26:48,619 --> 00:26:49,460
That makes sense.

681
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:51,220
Okay, so I mean.

682
00:26:51,220 --> 00:26:52,819
How do we, maybe we need to figure out

683
00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:54,379
if they are really actually alive.

684
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:55,579
Cause that would explain a lot.

685
00:26:55,579 --> 00:26:56,819
If they're sentient creatures,

686
00:26:56,819 --> 00:26:58,059
they're just, you know,

687
00:26:58,059 --> 00:26:59,700
go into whatever garden they,

688
00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:00,779
exactly, they wanna,

689
00:27:00,779 --> 00:27:01,619
they go wherever they want.

690
00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:03,019
They fuck where they wanna fuck.

691
00:27:03,019 --> 00:27:03,980
Exactly.

692
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:06,180
That's what everybody always says about gnomes.

693
00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:07,019
Yep.

694
00:27:08,139 --> 00:27:11,619
I had not previously heard that, but that's, I mean.

695
00:27:11,619 --> 00:27:13,019
I'm shocked by that, Sully.

696
00:27:13,019 --> 00:27:13,859
Wow.

697
00:27:13,859 --> 00:27:16,019
I mean, I don't like to paint people

698
00:27:16,019 --> 00:27:17,539
with broad strokes.

699
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:19,579
Look.

700
00:27:19,579 --> 00:27:20,900
I don't know if they're magic or not.

701
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:21,819
They were just, you know,

702
00:27:21,819 --> 00:27:24,139
loving gifts from grandpa hot pants.

703
00:27:24,139 --> 00:27:26,500
And then they just started going missing one night.

704
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:27,460
Okay.

705
00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:29,059
Is grandpa hot pants around here?

706
00:27:29,059 --> 00:27:32,299
We can maybe verify that he did in fact,

707
00:27:32,299 --> 00:27:33,139
give them to you.

708
00:27:33,139 --> 00:27:36,099
And if they're ended up over in sexy granny's

709
00:27:36,099 --> 00:27:38,940
backyard, then we can like, for sure.

710
00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:40,220
Cause right now it's just a,

711
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:42,660
just a she said, she said situation.

712
00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,539
Well, yes, grandpa.

713
00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:46,619
I can't remember what fucking voice it was.

714
00:27:46,619 --> 00:27:47,460
Kavin Hart.

715
00:27:47,460 --> 00:27:48,659
What did you write Kavin Hart on?

716
00:27:48,659 --> 00:27:51,220
It's like an Arvid, Kavin Hart combo.

717
00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:52,059
Yep.

718
00:27:52,059 --> 00:27:52,899
Arvid Hart.

719
00:27:52,899 --> 00:27:55,299
Yeah, he lives just a couple of houses down.

720
00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:57,059
Did she forget to put her teeth in

721
00:27:57,059 --> 00:27:58,619
and that's why she sounds like that?

722
00:27:58,619 --> 00:27:59,460
Yeah.

723
00:27:59,460 --> 00:28:00,299
Yeah.

724
00:28:00,299 --> 00:28:02,779
Remember to put her teddy and negligee on,

725
00:28:02,779 --> 00:28:03,619
but not the teeth.

726
00:28:03,619 --> 00:28:04,940
Not the teeth.

727
00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,059
You gotta go out looking your best.

728
00:28:07,059 --> 00:28:07,899
Okay.

729
00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:12,299
So I'm, I'm, I'm sorry.

730
00:28:12,299 --> 00:28:15,980
Keep it together.

731
00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:16,819
Yes.

732
00:28:16,819 --> 00:28:17,980
They said they live a couple of houses down.

733
00:28:17,980 --> 00:28:20,139
Maybe we just go visit grandpa hot pants.

734
00:28:20,139 --> 00:28:20,980
You're still here.

735
00:28:20,980 --> 00:28:21,819
Yeah.

736
00:28:21,819 --> 00:28:22,659
I'm always here.

737
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:25,579
Phillip is always present with you.

738
00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:27,379
It feels like an invasion of privacy, but.

739
00:28:27,379 --> 00:28:28,659
What a joy for us.

740
00:28:28,659 --> 00:28:32,220
Let's talk to Mr. Hot Pants.

741
00:28:32,220 --> 00:28:34,819
Grandpa Hot Pants, I believe it was his title.

742
00:28:34,819 --> 00:28:36,019
Yeah. Let's go.

743
00:28:36,019 --> 00:28:38,700
Maybe just go see, just double check.

744
00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:39,859
Do we all want to go?

745
00:28:39,859 --> 00:28:41,740
Do we dad leave these two grannies together?

746
00:28:41,740 --> 00:28:43,980
What if they start snatching at each other's faces?

747
00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:46,620
Phillip, maybe you could supervise the grannies,

748
00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:48,420
make sure they don't start fighting too much

749
00:28:48,420 --> 00:28:52,579
and we'll go talk to grandpa Hot Pants.

750
00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:54,620
And if we could know what they're saying occasionally

751
00:28:54,620 --> 00:28:55,900
with Phillip, that'd be great.

752
00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:56,740
Yeah. Oh yeah.

753
00:28:56,740 --> 00:28:58,220
That sounds like a cool idea.

754
00:28:58,220 --> 00:29:00,500
I'm going to stay here with these two sexy,

755
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:03,779
sex active grannies and nothing crazy will happen.

756
00:29:03,779 --> 00:29:04,940
I promise you.

757
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:05,779
Oh God.

758
00:29:05,779 --> 00:29:07,380
What are we going to come back to?

759
00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:08,220
I don't know.

760
00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:09,059
I regret it already,

761
00:29:09,059 --> 00:29:10,980
but also then we won't have Phillip with us.

762
00:29:11,140 --> 00:29:11,980
So maybe I don't.

763
00:29:13,220 --> 00:29:16,180
Let's go see grandpa Hot Pants.

764
00:29:16,180 --> 00:29:18,099
Oh, it really is just a couple of doors down.

765
00:29:18,099 --> 00:29:20,059
Cause look, I see a mailbox right there

766
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:23,059
and he does have grandpa Hot Pants written like right on it.

767
00:29:23,059 --> 00:29:23,900
Written right on it.

768
00:29:23,900 --> 00:29:24,720
Oh, it's perfect.

769
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,559
It's all bedazzled.

770
00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:28,539
With a little caricature of said Hot Pants.

771
00:29:28,539 --> 00:29:30,099
So that's cute.

772
00:29:30,099 --> 00:29:31,500
I like this guy already.

773
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,700
Maybe a bit embellished right in the crotch there,

774
00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:35,019
but I guess we'll find out.

775
00:29:35,019 --> 00:29:36,740
I mean, maybe or maybe not.

776
00:29:36,740 --> 00:29:39,339
You go knock on the door and it swings open

777
00:29:39,340 --> 00:29:43,060
and a plume of hot box comes out.

778
00:29:43,060 --> 00:29:48,060
And an old man, an assless chap steps forward

779
00:29:48,460 --> 00:29:51,660
who has a rather large cod piece.

780
00:29:51,660 --> 00:29:53,580
Did I miss any other description of grandpa?

781
00:29:53,580 --> 00:29:55,160
Oh, lace Hot Pants.

782
00:29:56,620 --> 00:30:00,100
Over those assless chaps are lace Hot Pants.

783
00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:01,500
Wow.

784
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,020
Are they?

785
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:03,860
Maybe they're ass.

786
00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:05,460
And shirtless, I imagine.

787
00:30:05,460 --> 00:30:06,900
Yeah, I would have to assume so.

788
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:07,740
He's a rip.

789
00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:09,260
With like a belly, I assume.

790
00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:10,980
He's a ripped grandpa.

791
00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:11,819
Oh, damn.

792
00:30:11,819 --> 00:30:13,019
Okay.

793
00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:14,339
Grandpa Hot Pants.

794
00:30:14,339 --> 00:30:17,700
Like that sexy Santa that that mall did that campaign with.

795
00:30:17,700 --> 00:30:18,819
Did you guys see that?

796
00:30:18,819 --> 00:30:19,660
He was buried.

797
00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:21,500
He was, yeah, that was a good Santa.

798
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,019
Well, that's what I'm picturing now.

799
00:30:23,019 --> 00:30:23,859
Okay.

800
00:30:23,859 --> 00:30:26,339
In fact, the crotch is rather understated

801
00:30:26,339 --> 00:30:28,460
in the picture that you saw, so.

802
00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:29,420
I had an inkling.

803
00:30:29,420 --> 00:30:30,259
Yeah.

804
00:30:30,259 --> 00:30:31,079
Okay.

805
00:30:32,579 --> 00:30:35,140
Hello, sir.

806
00:30:35,140 --> 00:30:36,819
Oh, hello there.

807
00:30:36,819 --> 00:30:40,819
Hi, grandpa Hot Pants.

808
00:30:41,819 --> 00:30:42,659
Pleasure.

809
00:30:42,659 --> 00:30:43,500
It's so nice.

810
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,339
So nice to meet you.

811
00:30:44,339 --> 00:30:45,179
Yeah, wow.

812
00:30:45,179 --> 00:30:46,019
Yeah, real pleasure.

813
00:30:46,019 --> 00:30:47,819
Yes, have you come on recommendation?

814
00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:52,939
Kind of, kind of, but not for the reason

815
00:30:52,939 --> 00:30:54,299
that you're probably thinking.

816
00:30:54,299 --> 00:30:55,139
Oh.

817
00:30:55,139 --> 00:31:00,139
We were just curious, what's the deal with the gnomes?

818
00:31:00,460 --> 00:31:02,019
You know the sexy gnomes

819
00:31:02,019 --> 00:31:04,819
that you bought for Flanny Granny?

820
00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:05,659
Well, I don't, that's what we call them.

821
00:31:05,700 --> 00:31:08,019
Who did you buy them for Flanny Granny?

822
00:31:08,019 --> 00:31:10,220
Who did you buy the gnomes for?

823
00:31:10,220 --> 00:31:13,380
The gnomes were a gift to Flanny Granny.

824
00:31:13,380 --> 00:31:15,540
Is there anything special about these gnomes

825
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:19,860
other than their wild, yeah.

826
00:31:19,860 --> 00:31:21,980
Let me check the calendar.

827
00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:25,700
Yes, yes, okay, yes.

828
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:27,540
Well, it seems that the moon

829
00:31:27,540 --> 00:31:30,580
has reached its 14th lunar cycle

830
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:34,259
and the gnomes will come alive

831
00:31:34,259 --> 00:31:37,339
and present themselves to their owners.

832
00:31:37,339 --> 00:31:38,180
Oh, there's at least three that are presenting.

833
00:31:38,180 --> 00:31:39,339
They are presenting themselves.

834
00:31:39,339 --> 00:31:40,980
Oh, so many.

835
00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:44,379
Now, previously to this lunar cycle,

836
00:31:44,379 --> 00:31:46,579
were they just complete bitches?

837
00:31:46,579 --> 00:31:47,900
The grannies or the gnomes?

838
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:48,740
Both.

839
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,700
Everybody's all crazy over there.

840
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:55,700
Well, once they start spritzing their gnomish pheromones,

841
00:31:55,740 --> 00:32:00,740
it can elevate certain untold desires,

842
00:32:01,140 --> 00:32:04,660
create a pact of untold desires, perhaps.

843
00:32:04,660 --> 00:32:06,140
Uh-oh, okay.

844
00:32:06,140 --> 00:32:08,380
Now, some of these gnomes are making the way over

845
00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:10,299
into Sexy Granny's yard.

846
00:32:10,299 --> 00:32:11,140
Are they choosing?

847
00:32:11,140 --> 00:32:12,259
Well, they are promiscuous.

848
00:32:12,259 --> 00:32:13,660
Uh-oh.

849
00:32:13,660 --> 00:32:14,500
Okay.

850
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,579
If there are too many gnomes in one location,

851
00:32:16,579 --> 00:32:17,579
they spread.

852
00:32:17,579 --> 00:32:20,779
Why did you give so many gnomes in one location?

853
00:32:20,779 --> 00:32:24,220
I was hoping to win her over.

854
00:32:24,220 --> 00:32:26,859
It came to me in a dream.

855
00:32:26,859 --> 00:32:29,539
If I could win over Flanny Granny, then.

856
00:32:29,539 --> 00:32:30,940
She's the ultimate conquest.

857
00:32:30,940 --> 00:32:33,099
Complete your bingo card?

858
00:32:33,099 --> 00:32:33,940
Yes.

859
00:32:33,940 --> 00:32:34,779
Yes.

860
00:32:36,019 --> 00:32:37,379
Yes, sir.

861
00:32:37,379 --> 00:32:40,099
To complete my life's bingo card.

862
00:32:40,099 --> 00:32:41,379
Okay.

863
00:32:41,379 --> 00:32:43,579
The center square is often Flanny Granny,

864
00:32:43,579 --> 00:32:44,700
so that's fair.

865
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:45,859
Yeah.

866
00:32:45,859 --> 00:32:47,339
So they're perfectly normal.

867
00:32:47,339 --> 00:32:48,779
Nothing to see here.

868
00:32:48,779 --> 00:32:53,779
They're just going to enact their pheromone goodness

869
00:32:54,059 --> 00:32:56,899
on them and then probably on the neighborhood.

870
00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:02,900
And for how long is it just a short cycle or?

871
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:05,259
Forever.

872
00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:07,540
Oh, okay.

873
00:33:07,540 --> 00:33:08,380
So, wow.

874
00:33:08,380 --> 00:33:10,380
They just reproduce forever.

875
00:33:10,380 --> 00:33:11,220
Okay.

876
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:13,860
I mean, we like to be sex positive.

877
00:33:13,860 --> 00:33:14,700
Right, guys?

878
00:33:14,700 --> 00:33:17,860
Like, we're aggressively sex positive.

879
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,259
Fuck yeah.

880
00:33:19,259 --> 00:33:21,660
Come on, we can talk about it inside.

881
00:33:21,660 --> 00:33:23,100
No, that's not right.

882
00:33:23,100 --> 00:33:24,540
I feel like we maybe need to,

883
00:33:24,579 --> 00:33:27,619
because one of the best things about being sex positive

884
00:33:27,619 --> 00:33:28,740
is positive consent.

885
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:32,740
And I feel like by just releasing sex pheromone gnomes

886
00:33:32,740 --> 00:33:33,859
on the whole neighborhood,

887
00:33:33,859 --> 00:33:36,059
you maybe haven't taken that into account

888
00:33:36,059 --> 00:33:38,980
in the way that you probably would like to.

889
00:33:38,980 --> 00:33:40,460
Well, that's fair.

890
00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:42,819
Yes, I suppose I've stumbled backwards

891
00:33:42,819 --> 00:33:44,980
into an odd consent program.

892
00:33:47,299 --> 00:33:49,460
She did accept the gifts willingly.

893
00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:50,299
Oh, yes. Of course.

894
00:33:50,299 --> 00:33:51,819
But did the whole neighborhood?

895
00:33:51,819 --> 00:33:54,019
Well, not yet.

896
00:33:54,059 --> 00:33:56,660
We look down and there's like a couple gnomes

897
00:33:57,579 --> 00:33:59,420
kind of like peeking around.

898
00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:00,379
Yeah, yeah.

899
00:34:00,379 --> 00:34:02,779
We can like see some stuff through the door.

900
00:34:02,779 --> 00:34:03,740
Hey, what you doing?

901
00:34:03,740 --> 00:34:04,940
Hey, close the door.

902
00:34:04,940 --> 00:34:05,779
Close the door.

903
00:34:05,779 --> 00:34:07,220
Don't look at us while we're doing this.

904
00:34:07,220 --> 00:34:08,820
Oh, like you don't want us to look at you

905
00:34:08,820 --> 00:34:09,820
when you're doing that. Okay, look at me.

906
00:34:09,820 --> 00:34:10,659
Oh, boy.

907
00:34:10,659 --> 00:34:12,460
Oh, I'll make extreme eye contact with you

908
00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:13,980
while we're doing this.

909
00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:16,099
I think we've gotten a little off topic.

910
00:34:16,099 --> 00:34:17,460
I think we have a gnome problem

911
00:34:17,460 --> 00:34:18,579
to take care of here, people.

912
00:34:18,579 --> 00:34:21,179
I think we maybe have a gnome problem.

913
00:34:21,179 --> 00:34:22,739
Now, the gnomes, did they,

914
00:34:22,740 --> 00:34:25,460
maybe they came from somewhere else

915
00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:26,860
and we could just-

916
00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:27,700
Round them up.

917
00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:28,540
We don't want to destroy the gnomes

918
00:34:28,540 --> 00:34:30,380
but we could just maybe collect them

919
00:34:30,380 --> 00:34:31,700
and send them back home.

920
00:34:31,700 --> 00:34:32,540
Sure.

921
00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:33,380
Yes, yes.

922
00:34:33,380 --> 00:34:35,300
Well, I bought them off a man

923
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,900
who said he was from the Fae.

924
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:42,900
So perhaps they could be sent back to the Fae.

925
00:34:43,460 --> 00:34:46,180
Or maybe what if we canvas the neighborhood

926
00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:49,740
and see if all the neighbors want to take one or two

927
00:34:49,740 --> 00:34:51,500
and then they can all stay

928
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,659
and then they're not in the same place

929
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,139
reproducing constantly.

930
00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:58,980
But then won't they still just give out

931
00:34:58,980 --> 00:35:00,579
the pheromones all the time?

932
00:35:00,579 --> 00:35:01,780
Cause it never stops.

933
00:35:01,780 --> 00:35:03,619
Oh, yeah, didn't think of that.

934
00:35:03,619 --> 00:35:05,980
That was never ending spreading of the pheromones.

935
00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:07,219
Yeah, yeah.

936
00:35:07,219 --> 00:35:10,300
Well, hey, at least now we gnome the problem.

937
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:17,539
Okay, thank you, Sir Hot Pants.

938
00:35:17,539 --> 00:35:18,659
Yeah, yes, anytime.

939
00:35:18,659 --> 00:35:21,300
Oh, I probably have some items here for you.

940
00:35:22,140 --> 00:35:22,980
Oh, oh.

941
00:35:22,980 --> 00:35:23,820
That you could use to wrangle these.

942
00:35:23,820 --> 00:35:24,660
Yes, please.

943
00:35:24,660 --> 00:35:25,500
Oh, okay.

944
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:27,660
I was just gonna use my hands with gloves on.

945
00:35:27,660 --> 00:35:30,420
Just let me go check the back.

946
00:35:30,420 --> 00:35:35,420
Well, I get a list of things that could be presented.

947
00:35:36,860 --> 00:35:37,700
Go on.

948
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:40,700
Welcome to the meadow, we've got stuff and things.

949
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:41,539
Meal time.

950
00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:42,539
Meal time.

951
00:35:42,539 --> 00:35:43,539
Meal time.

952
00:35:43,539 --> 00:35:44,539
Meal time.

953
00:35:44,539 --> 00:35:45,539
Meal time.

954
00:35:45,539 --> 00:35:46,539
Meal time.

955
00:35:46,539 --> 00:35:47,539
Meal time.

956
00:35:47,539 --> 00:35:48,539
Meal time.

957
00:35:48,539 --> 00:35:49,539
Meal time.

958
00:35:49,539 --> 00:35:50,539
Meal time.

959
00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:54,059
If you want all the things and stuff,

960
00:35:54,059 --> 00:35:56,739
that's what you're gonna get.

961
00:35:56,739 --> 00:35:57,579
We are the-

962
00:35:57,579 --> 00:35:58,940
Take it home, Russ.

963
00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:03,380
Place that you find all the great things.

964
00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:07,420
I wish I had another word that wasn't things.

965
00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:08,259
Okay, we'll be back.

966
00:36:08,259 --> 00:36:09,300
All right, let's, yeah.

967
00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:11,340
Well, I know what birthday gift you get, Russ.

968
00:36:11,340 --> 00:36:12,380
It's a thesaurus.

969
00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:15,420
Yes, thank you, thank you.

970
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:17,219
We both could use that.

971
00:36:17,219 --> 00:36:18,500
We could.

972
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:19,380
Hey, it's the gift.

973
00:36:19,420 --> 00:36:20,619
It's the overlapping gift.

974
00:36:20,619 --> 00:36:21,460
There it is.

975
00:36:21,460 --> 00:36:22,300
We found it, Tom.

976
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:23,780
We found it in the middle, all right.

977
00:36:23,780 --> 00:36:25,500
Lots of stuff were found in the middle.

978
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:26,340
That's right.

979
00:36:26,340 --> 00:36:28,980
Hey, last week was our first episode back from vacation.

980
00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:30,619
I did the middle by myself,

981
00:36:30,619 --> 00:36:31,460
because I was like,

982
00:36:31,460 --> 00:36:32,300
I don't want to call everybody in

983
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,860
just for one little middle.

984
00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:34,980
But now we're back together,

985
00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:37,380
doing this thing together again.

986
00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:38,220
And it feels good.

987
00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:40,780
And can I say, we have not lost it.

988
00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:41,619
No.

989
00:36:41,619 --> 00:36:43,099
No, still sharp as a tack.

990
00:36:43,099 --> 00:36:44,860
Based on that song off the top there.

991
00:36:44,860 --> 00:36:46,180
Finally honed edges.

992
00:36:46,180 --> 00:36:48,420
Russ has been holding on to that song for-

993
00:36:48,420 --> 00:36:49,659
I wrote that song at the beginning of vacation.

994
00:36:49,659 --> 00:36:51,500
He's been working on it for four weeks.

995
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,340
It's been a long time.

996
00:36:52,340 --> 00:36:54,220
That's four weeks worth of work.

997
00:36:54,220 --> 00:36:55,059
Yeah.

998
00:36:55,059 --> 00:36:55,900
How do you feel about that?

999
00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:56,740
Oh, boy.

1000
00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:57,940
I feel great about it.

1001
00:36:57,940 --> 00:36:58,780
Yeah, I feel-

1002
00:36:58,780 --> 00:36:59,619
Good, you should.

1003
00:36:59,619 --> 00:37:00,460
That's what's important.

1004
00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:02,180
Sometimes you just have to throw things at the wall

1005
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:04,340
and just be proud of them, because-

1006
00:37:04,340 --> 00:37:05,180
Nope.

1007
00:37:05,180 --> 00:37:06,019
You're just proud of all of them.

1008
00:37:06,019 --> 00:37:07,460
But are you supposed to see what sticks?

1009
00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:09,579
Like a proud of mom again.

1010
00:37:09,579 --> 00:37:11,500
You just hurl things at the wall.

1011
00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:13,980
No, the saying is, you throw things at the wall

1012
00:37:13,980 --> 00:37:15,220
and then be proud of them.

1013
00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:16,059
Okay.

1014
00:37:16,059 --> 00:37:16,900
Yeah, what's wrong with you guys?

1015
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:21,139
So with the support of our friends at Podbean,

1016
00:37:21,139 --> 00:37:23,300
we've got something that you might want to try here.

1017
00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:24,139
Okay.

1018
00:37:24,139 --> 00:37:24,980
You know how sometimes you're like,

1019
00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:26,420
mm, my podcast app.

1020
00:37:26,420 --> 00:37:27,860
I wish I could try a different one.

1021
00:37:27,860 --> 00:37:29,780
Yeah, because sometimes people update them

1022
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:31,099
and then they are terrible.

1023
00:37:31,099 --> 00:37:32,019
Not pointing any fingers.

1024
00:37:32,019 --> 00:37:33,940
No, not pointing any.

1025
00:37:33,940 --> 00:37:34,860
For example?

1026
00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:37,260
Not taking any bites out of any apples.

1027
00:37:38,660 --> 00:37:40,099
Well, I mean, you really-

1028
00:37:40,099 --> 00:37:42,420
I kind of said the quiet part loud there, Tom.

1029
00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:43,500
I don't know what you're talking about.

1030
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:44,820
What we want to say is,

1031
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:46,619
Podbean is a really cool app

1032
00:37:46,619 --> 00:37:47,859
and they've got a lot of great features

1033
00:37:47,859 --> 00:37:49,539
and we think that you should go check them out.

1034
00:37:49,539 --> 00:37:51,699
Because Podbean's been a leader in the field of podcasting

1035
00:37:51,699 --> 00:37:53,059
for over 10 years,

1036
00:37:53,059 --> 00:37:56,219
developing innovative tools for podcasters and listeners.

1037
00:37:56,219 --> 00:37:59,699
In addition to podcast hosting and monetization,

1038
00:37:59,699 --> 00:38:02,619
Podbean has developed one of the top podcast apps

1039
00:38:02,619 --> 00:38:04,659
for Android and iOS,

1040
00:38:04,659 --> 00:38:09,099
with over 1.5 million installs and growing fast.

1041
00:38:09,099 --> 00:38:11,339
Anecdotally, they've been around forever.

1042
00:38:11,339 --> 00:38:14,259
I remember back in school doing a project

1043
00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:16,620
and making a podcast because I am who I am

1044
00:38:16,620 --> 00:38:18,220
and I've always been this person.

1045
00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:22,140
And uploading it on Podbean.

1046
00:38:22,140 --> 00:38:24,900
And that was like when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

1047
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:25,860
Yeah, I think they've got,

1048
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:27,420
well, they've got a whole bunch of different plans

1049
00:38:27,420 --> 00:38:28,740
for podcasters and that sort of thing.

1050
00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:30,700
But one thing that I really like about Podbean

1051
00:38:30,700 --> 00:38:32,580
that you don't get with a lot of apps

1052
00:38:32,580 --> 00:38:34,900
is you can comment and the podcaster,

1053
00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:36,620
as long as they claim their podcast,

1054
00:38:36,620 --> 00:38:38,620
can see those comments.

1055
00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:39,460
Oh, I like that.

1056
00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:40,300
That's fun.

1057
00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:41,140
And that's shitter chatter back.

1058
00:38:41,140 --> 00:38:41,980
That's fun.

1059
00:38:41,980 --> 00:38:44,180
So Podbean, go try it out.

1060
00:38:45,220 --> 00:38:46,060
Podbean.com.

1061
00:38:46,060 --> 00:38:46,900
There's no tagline for them.

1062
00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:48,660
Two beans in a pod.

1063
00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,460
Yeah, podbean.com.

1064
00:38:50,460 --> 00:38:51,940
What Amy said.

1065
00:38:51,940 --> 00:38:52,780
Bean it up.

1066
00:38:52,780 --> 00:38:54,060
Bean me up, Scotty?

1067
00:38:54,060 --> 00:38:56,020
We're in the middle now

1068
00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:59,340
and we're singing a song about Podbean.

1069
00:39:02,060 --> 00:39:05,060
They are an app that you can listen to

1070
00:39:05,060 --> 00:39:07,540
all your podcasts.

1071
00:39:07,540 --> 00:39:08,380
Podcasts.

1072
00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,220
Podbean.

1073
00:39:09,220 --> 00:39:13,540
You can push, play and rewind.

1074
00:39:13,539 --> 00:39:17,380
More probably skip 15 seconds in the past.

1075
00:39:17,380 --> 00:39:18,219
Podbean.

1076
00:39:18,219 --> 00:39:19,059
Podbean.

1077
00:39:19,059 --> 00:39:19,900
Yeah.

1078
00:39:21,259 --> 00:39:22,139
Podbean.

1079
00:39:22,139 --> 00:39:23,099
Thanks for listening to us.

1080
00:39:23,099 --> 00:39:24,860
All right, you have a great rest of your week

1081
00:39:24,860 --> 00:39:26,579
and we'll talk to you soon.

1082
00:39:26,579 --> 00:39:29,699
We cut back to Hillup and Flanny Granny

1083
00:39:29,699 --> 00:39:30,539
and Sexy Granny.

1084
00:39:30,539 --> 00:39:33,659
So what you're saying is I just have to put my knees

1085
00:39:33,659 --> 00:39:36,980
up into these holsters?

1086
00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:39,300
Oh God, they got them on the swing.

1087
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:40,300
Oh wait, I'm not there.

1088
00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:41,659
You just can sense it.

1089
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,299
I can't, I'm just like.

1090
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:45,539
You just raise them up there.

1091
00:39:45,539 --> 00:39:46,899
Yeah, you put them up high.

1092
00:39:46,899 --> 00:39:48,779
Yeah, and then we're just testing the weight there.

1093
00:39:48,779 --> 00:39:49,819
See how it bounces?

1094
00:39:49,819 --> 00:39:52,019
Yeah, that's good.

1095
00:39:52,019 --> 00:39:54,179
Okay, so this is really fun.

1096
00:39:54,179 --> 00:39:55,579
So what do we do now?

1097
00:39:55,579 --> 00:39:57,899
I like that they've got Hillup in the swing.

1098
00:39:57,899 --> 00:39:58,739
That seems.

1099
00:39:58,739 --> 00:39:59,579
Yeah, I like that.

1100
00:39:59,579 --> 00:40:02,219
That seems appropriate.

1101
00:40:02,219 --> 00:40:03,859
Hot Pants comes back.

1102
00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:05,940
Well, I have a bag of things here.

1103
00:40:05,940 --> 00:40:10,299
It reaches in and pulls out another bag.

1104
00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:11,900
Oh, I like a bag in a bag.

1105
00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:12,740
Here.

1106
00:40:12,740 --> 00:40:13,580
There's a mystery to it.

1107
00:40:13,580 --> 00:40:15,180
I'll give this one to you here.

1108
00:40:15,180 --> 00:40:18,140
This is what they call a bag of kittens.

1109
00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:23,140
It's an extra dimensional portal that houses kittens.

1110
00:40:23,580 --> 00:40:25,780
Oh, could we put the gnomes in there?

1111
00:40:25,780 --> 00:40:28,460
Well, I mean, it's full of kittens.

1112
00:40:29,460 --> 00:40:30,660
So you reach it.

1113
00:40:30,660 --> 00:40:33,740
I mean, you could potentially put the gnomes in there

1114
00:40:33,740 --> 00:40:36,700
and put them into an extra-dimensional plane.

1115
00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:37,940
We could take the kittens out

1116
00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:38,780
and give them to the granny.

1117
00:40:38,780 --> 00:40:39,620
Yes, you could.

1118
00:40:39,779 --> 00:40:40,619
Oh, that's fun.

1119
00:40:40,619 --> 00:40:41,579
You know what, too?

1120
00:40:41,579 --> 00:40:43,619
I think cats have crazy pheromones.

1121
00:40:43,619 --> 00:40:45,339
Like they pee and spray all over stuff.

1122
00:40:45,339 --> 00:40:46,259
Maybe you could.

1123
00:40:46,259 --> 00:40:48,420
How many kittens were in here?

1124
00:40:48,420 --> 00:40:49,259
Thousands.

1125
00:40:49,259 --> 00:40:51,139
There's thousands of kittens in here.

1126
00:40:51,139 --> 00:40:53,420
One, two, three.

1127
00:40:53,420 --> 00:40:54,259
Thousands.

1128
00:40:54,259 --> 00:40:55,099
Thousands of kittens.

1129
00:40:55,099 --> 00:40:56,940
That's thousands of kittens.

1130
00:40:56,940 --> 00:40:59,859
Well, here's your standard staff of probing gnomes

1131
00:40:59,859 --> 00:41:03,299
by eggsy, chokers, leather hoods,

1132
00:41:03,299 --> 00:41:05,219
fingerprinting dust and brushes.

1133
00:41:05,219 --> 00:41:06,579
That seems here.

1134
00:41:06,579 --> 00:41:07,420
I'm an investigator.

1135
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:08,380
Sure, moot.

1136
00:41:08,380 --> 00:41:09,619
I think you didn't tell me your name,

1137
00:41:09,619 --> 00:41:11,619
but I'm gonna call you by it.

1138
00:41:11,619 --> 00:41:12,460
Sure.

1139
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:14,099
You got the name tag there.

1140
00:41:14,099 --> 00:41:15,500
Oh, yep, yep.

1141
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:16,460
Oh, what's this one?

1142
00:41:16,460 --> 00:41:18,820
This is a comb of beard man, sir.

1143
00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:20,019
While it touches your body,

1144
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:22,820
you can grow and regrow a foot of facial hair

1145
00:41:22,820 --> 00:41:23,740
as a bonus action.

1146
00:41:23,740 --> 00:41:25,180
Anybody interested in that?

1147
00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:28,260
Well, you know, I could mask myself as a gnome.

1148
00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:29,579
Excuse me. A giant gnome.

1149
00:41:29,579 --> 00:41:31,619
Thank you for the name tags again.

1150
00:41:32,619 --> 00:41:34,780
You look like you had a beard once.

1151
00:41:34,780 --> 00:41:35,620
I did.

1152
00:41:35,620 --> 00:41:39,100
And so I'm going to stay away from that comb.

1153
00:41:39,100 --> 00:41:39,940
But thank you.

1154
00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:42,060
I think, I don't know if,

1155
00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:43,100
yeah, the disguise,

1156
00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:46,220
maybe you could pretend to be a sexy gnome, Sully.

1157
00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:47,940
But please note that you're getting

1158
00:41:47,940 --> 00:41:48,900
too close to me with it.

1159
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:49,740
Please.

1160
00:41:49,740 --> 00:41:50,580
Okay.

1161
00:41:50,580 --> 00:41:51,400
I'll take it.

1162
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:52,240
Okay, there you go.

1163
00:41:52,240 --> 00:41:54,019
Gnome and guard grenade,

1164
00:41:54,019 --> 00:41:55,860
potion of gnome pheromones

1165
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:57,940
to lure them into a possi-

1166
00:41:57,940 --> 00:42:00,180
I'll let you decide how you use it.

1167
00:42:00,180 --> 00:42:01,019
Can we just take the duffel bag?

1168
00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:02,580
I like the potion we could throw it into the-

1169
00:42:02,580 --> 00:42:03,420
Can we just take the duffel bag?

1170
00:42:03,420 --> 00:42:04,260
Maybe add this bag?

1171
00:42:04,420 --> 00:42:06,100
Yeah, what if we just took this whole thing?

1172
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:07,980
Ooh, guys, there's a whip in here.

1173
00:42:07,980 --> 00:42:10,260
Oh, well, I'm not surprised.

1174
00:42:10,260 --> 00:42:11,660
That's the most normal of the things

1175
00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:13,300
that I've told you about.

1176
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:14,900
Sheet of useful toys.

1177
00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:15,740
Yeah, absolutely.

1178
00:42:15,740 --> 00:42:18,460
Look at all these cool, cool things we've gotten here.

1179
00:42:18,460 --> 00:42:20,740
Well, I say we just kind of go and use them all.

1180
00:42:20,740 --> 00:42:22,100
He hands you the bag.

1181
00:42:22,100 --> 00:42:22,940
Let's go.

1182
00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:25,020
You're heading back to the scene of the crime?

1183
00:42:25,020 --> 00:42:25,980
Oh yeah.

1184
00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:26,820
Or are you-

1185
00:42:26,820 --> 00:42:28,100
Well, there hasn't really been a crime committed,

1186
00:42:28,100 --> 00:42:29,160
has there?

1187
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:30,000
There's no crime.

1188
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:30,840
There's just-

1189
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,180
It was a public disturbance.

1190
00:42:32,219 --> 00:42:34,019
An accidental pheromone release.

1191
00:42:35,940 --> 00:42:37,940
Okay, we are approaching the fence.

1192
00:42:37,940 --> 00:42:40,019
Come on in, come on in.

1193
00:42:40,019 --> 00:42:43,099
We're just having a good time in the swing here.

1194
00:42:43,099 --> 00:42:43,940
Oh God.

1195
00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:44,779
Oh.

1196
00:42:44,779 --> 00:42:45,599
Yes?

1197
00:42:45,599 --> 00:42:46,440
I knew it.

1198
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,419
Yep, come on in.

1199
00:42:47,419 --> 00:42:48,659
Everything's fine.

1200
00:42:48,659 --> 00:42:49,500
Okay.

1201
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:51,419
Everybody's pants are on still.

1202
00:42:51,419 --> 00:42:53,059
Okay, okay.

1203
00:42:53,059 --> 00:42:54,019
Okay, okay.

1204
00:42:54,019 --> 00:42:55,940
Well, we're just gonna-

1205
00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:58,179
So turns out we have to get rid of the gnomes.

1206
00:42:58,179 --> 00:42:59,659
Yes, I'm sorry.

1207
00:42:59,659 --> 00:43:01,500
But you were right, Flanny Granny.

1208
00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:04,179
It's very important for people to hear when they were right.

1209
00:43:04,179 --> 00:43:05,019
Yeah.

1210
00:43:05,019 --> 00:43:06,260
Those gnomes do belong to you.

1211
00:43:06,260 --> 00:43:09,699
They were gifts from Grandpa Hot Pants.

1212
00:43:09,699 --> 00:43:10,539
Yeah.

1213
00:43:10,539 --> 00:43:12,179
Who we did not have sex with.

1214
00:43:12,179 --> 00:43:13,019
So stop.

1215
00:43:13,980 --> 00:43:14,820
And-

1216
00:43:14,820 --> 00:43:16,059
Well, I mean, he charges by the hour.

1217
00:43:16,059 --> 00:43:17,340
I know, it's way too expensive.

1218
00:43:17,340 --> 00:43:18,260
It's an open relationship.

1219
00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:19,619
You can do what you like.

1220
00:43:19,619 --> 00:43:23,420
But these gnomes have come to life,

1221
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:26,179
will stay alive, fucking all over the place.

1222
00:43:26,179 --> 00:43:27,420
Right?

1223
00:43:27,420 --> 00:43:30,179
Giving off sexy pheromones.

1224
00:43:30,219 --> 00:43:32,059
He's just trying to win your heart.

1225
00:43:32,059 --> 00:43:33,739
With sexy pheromones?

1226
00:43:33,739 --> 00:43:36,659
Well, first it was just with the trinkets.

1227
00:43:36,659 --> 00:43:39,099
You know, just so you know.

1228
00:43:39,099 --> 00:43:40,419
He digs you, boo.

1229
00:43:40,419 --> 00:43:41,259
Great.

1230
00:43:41,259 --> 00:43:42,539
Well, I'm glad we solved that problem.

1231
00:43:42,539 --> 00:43:43,699
How are we gonna get rid of them?

1232
00:43:43,699 --> 00:43:45,539
Oh, we'll get this duffel bag of stuff.

1233
00:43:45,539 --> 00:43:46,379
Yeah, and how are we gonna get them to stop

1234
00:43:46,379 --> 00:43:48,460
coming over to my side of the yard?

1235
00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:49,539
Well, what's this do?

1236
00:43:49,539 --> 00:43:50,379
This isn't-

1237
00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,379
Huh, it's like a vibrating wand.

1238
00:43:54,379 --> 00:43:57,139
I'm not sure what-

1239
00:43:57,179 --> 00:44:00,940
Okay, so, okay, one end wasn't tingled.

1240
00:44:00,940 --> 00:44:02,019
Oh, okay.

1241
00:44:02,019 --> 00:44:04,219
Okay, and I'm gonna turn it up.

1242
00:44:04,219 --> 00:44:06,019
I'm turning it up.

1243
00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:07,219
Turning it up.

1244
00:44:07,219 --> 00:44:08,859
Oh my God, oh, ow.

1245
00:44:08,859 --> 00:44:10,980
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

1246
00:44:10,980 --> 00:44:12,420
That seems aggressive.

1247
00:44:12,420 --> 00:44:14,699
Well, if you can't even hold onto it.

1248
00:44:14,699 --> 00:44:15,539
Can't even.

1249
00:44:16,859 --> 00:44:19,059
Buzzed right out of my hand.

1250
00:44:19,059 --> 00:44:19,900
Wow.

1251
00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:21,379
It's a little extreme.

1252
00:44:21,379 --> 00:44:24,059
Well, maybe you should touch one of the gnomes with it

1253
00:44:24,059 --> 00:44:25,219
and see what happens.

1254
00:44:25,219 --> 00:44:26,460
Okay, okay.

1255
00:44:26,460 --> 00:44:29,500
So I pick it up very carefully and turn it back down,

1256
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,539
more closer to pleasant tingle than crusher

1257
00:44:32,539 --> 00:44:37,099
and hold it in my hand, pointing out,

1258
00:44:37,099 --> 00:44:39,539
walking towards one of the gnomes.

1259
00:44:39,539 --> 00:44:41,940
Maybe the one that's dressed like a shepherdess

1260
00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:44,460
for some reason, it's quite old fashioned.

1261
00:44:44,460 --> 00:44:46,139
Little bo peep.

1262
00:44:46,139 --> 00:44:49,900
Little bo peep, but a very short skirt,

1263
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,500
kind of bent over.

1264
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:54,940
And I kind of gently touch,

1265
00:44:54,940 --> 00:44:57,420
just to like the arm.

1266
00:44:57,420 --> 00:44:59,619
Make a dexterity roll.

1267
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:03,019
Russ looks around like he's got any papers to say,

1268
00:45:03,019 --> 00:45:04,340
like, what if that happened?

1269
00:45:04,340 --> 00:45:07,579
Let me just check my vibrator stats here.

1270
00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:10,019
Let me check my sex gnome reaction time.

1271
00:45:11,019 --> 00:45:13,179
Clearly this is the only thing I prepped.

1272
00:45:15,300 --> 00:45:18,780
Dex is, okay, so 16.

1273
00:45:18,780 --> 00:45:23,780
Just as you're approaching the sexy little bo peep.

1274
00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:27,860
Gnome turns and looks at you.

1275
00:45:27,860 --> 00:45:28,900
Say it out loud, Russ.

1276
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:31,500
Sexy little bo peep gnome turns and looks at you

1277
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:33,099
at first in a little fright,

1278
00:45:33,099 --> 00:45:35,820
but then with intrigue and excitement.

1279
00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:41,820
And you approach and vibrate the shoulder of this gnome

1280
00:45:43,139 --> 00:45:47,740
and its entire body begins convulsing.

1281
00:45:47,740 --> 00:45:48,820
Well, I mean, everybody knows

1282
00:45:48,820 --> 00:45:51,059
the shoulder is the pleasure center.

1283
00:45:51,059 --> 00:45:53,940
It's one of the main erogenous zones of a gnome.

1284
00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:56,099
But then it keeps vibrating

1285
00:45:56,099 --> 00:45:58,179
and you pull the vibrator back

1286
00:45:58,179 --> 00:46:01,900
until the ceramic arm vibrates off.

1287
00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:04,900
Hey, what are you doing?

1288
00:46:04,900 --> 00:46:06,340
I thought we were having a good time here.

1289
00:46:06,340 --> 00:46:09,780
Well, it's just that, do we have that bag or can I?

1290
00:46:09,780 --> 00:46:10,700
The kitten bag.

1291
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,900
And I open up the kitten bag

1292
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,260
and I start taking kittens out

1293
00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:17,659
and just start like throwing them at gnomes.

1294
00:46:17,659 --> 00:46:18,500
So as an action,

1295
00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:20,019
you can reach inside the bag and pick a kitten.

1296
00:46:20,019 --> 00:46:21,980
Alternatively, you can use your action

1297
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:23,900
to place a new kitten in the bag

1298
00:46:24,860 --> 00:46:27,139
and as an action, you can cause all the thousand kittens

1299
00:46:27,139 --> 00:46:27,980
to come out.

1300
00:46:27,980 --> 00:46:28,820
You know what?

1301
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:29,660
I don't think you know how to use it.

1302
00:46:29,660 --> 00:46:30,980
All thousand kittens pour out.

1303
00:46:30,980 --> 00:46:33,019
Yeah, I just dump the bag of kittens.

1304
00:46:33,019 --> 00:46:34,900
Oh, okay.

1305
00:46:34,900 --> 00:46:36,700
I'm gonna try and put the sexy shepherdess

1306
00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:37,539
in the bag now.

1307
00:46:37,539 --> 00:46:38,380
Okay, sure.

1308
00:46:38,380 --> 00:46:39,980
Yeah, you pick up the sexy shepherdess

1309
00:46:39,980 --> 00:46:41,539
and she's yelling at you.

1310
00:46:41,539 --> 00:46:43,019
Hey, you made my arm fall off.

1311
00:46:43,019 --> 00:46:44,940
I pick up the arm and put the arm in there too.

1312
00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:47,740
You feel this warmth coming off of this gnome.

1313
00:46:47,740 --> 00:46:48,980
Why stop now?

1314
00:46:48,980 --> 00:46:49,820
We're in it.

1315
00:46:49,820 --> 00:46:52,539
And its body begins to slowly change and morph

1316
00:46:52,539 --> 00:46:53,980
and it's getting bigger.

1317
00:46:53,980 --> 00:46:56,019
Not a lot bigger, but it gets bigger

1318
00:46:56,019 --> 00:46:57,659
until you see before you,

1319
00:46:57,659 --> 00:47:02,659
it is a small gnome-like creature with a red cap

1320
00:47:04,019 --> 00:47:07,059
and a huge scythe who swings down towards you.

1321
00:47:07,059 --> 00:47:08,539
Wow, oh.

1322
00:47:08,539 --> 00:47:09,380
For a nat one.

1323
00:47:09,380 --> 00:47:11,019
Now is that a two-handed weapon, Russ?

1324
00:47:11,019 --> 00:47:12,779
Or because they did lose an arm.

1325
00:47:12,779 --> 00:47:15,259
It's a single-handed scythe.

1326
00:47:15,259 --> 00:47:17,219
Huge for their size.

1327
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:18,420
But they rolled a nat one.

1328
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:21,940
So they swing into the bag as you put them in there.

1329
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:24,139
They scream and it's like, ah!

1330
00:47:24,139 --> 00:47:25,659
What just happened?

1331
00:47:25,659 --> 00:47:27,820
Well, a million cats came out of that bag.

1332
00:47:27,820 --> 00:47:29,139
There's so many cats here now.

1333
00:47:29,139 --> 00:47:29,980
They're very cute.

1334
00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:32,059
I'm on the floor playing with them.

1335
00:47:32,059 --> 00:47:35,260
They're spraying and we know the pheromones

1336
00:47:35,260 --> 00:47:36,860
are coming out of the gnomes too.

1337
00:47:36,860 --> 00:47:40,380
So there's a thick scent in the air.

1338
00:47:40,380 --> 00:47:42,220
It's a musk, it's a musky.

1339
00:47:42,220 --> 00:47:43,420
There's a real musk.

1340
00:47:43,420 --> 00:47:45,340
I don't know if I've made any better with the cats.

1341
00:47:45,340 --> 00:47:46,300
However, you know.

1342
00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:47,700
Yeah, so you're in.

1343
00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:48,539
Well, cuter.

1344
00:47:48,539 --> 00:47:49,380
You've made it cuter.

1345
00:47:49,380 --> 00:47:51,579
There's a 30-foot sphere of kittens

1346
00:47:51,579 --> 00:47:55,779
that is expanding by 10 feet each turn.

1347
00:47:55,779 --> 00:47:58,980
Lasts for 3D6 turns until the kittens become tired

1348
00:47:58,980 --> 00:47:59,940
from all the play.

1349
00:47:59,940 --> 00:48:03,539
So you have this 30-foot ball of kittens

1350
00:48:03,539 --> 00:48:05,299
swirling, journeying.

1351
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,699
The ground is being torn up.

1352
00:48:06,699 --> 00:48:08,900
Fences are being knocked over.

1353
00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:11,739
Gnomes are running all over the place.

1354
00:48:11,739 --> 00:48:12,579
Oh, okay.

1355
00:48:12,579 --> 00:48:14,659
I've got, here, moot.

1356
00:48:14,659 --> 00:48:19,659
And I pass moot this bottle that says pheromones on it.

1357
00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:24,619
Where can I spray this that's a smart choice for us?

1358
00:48:24,619 --> 00:48:25,460
Smart.

1359
00:48:26,940 --> 00:48:28,299
Where should we spray this?

1360
00:48:29,899 --> 00:48:30,739
Audience?

1361
00:48:30,739 --> 00:48:32,259
Hey guys, that kittens are getting

1362
00:48:32,259 --> 00:48:34,299
real close to my swing set here.

1363
00:48:34,299 --> 00:48:36,619
Maybe somebody could help me down.

1364
00:48:37,460 --> 00:48:38,659
Oh, I think you're safe for that.

1365
00:48:38,659 --> 00:48:40,460
Is there a well on the property?

1366
00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:44,420
Yeah, just actually in sexy granny's yard,

1367
00:48:44,420 --> 00:48:45,619
there's a well.

1368
00:48:45,619 --> 00:48:46,460
Was it a real one or is it a fake one?

1369
00:48:46,460 --> 00:48:49,019
I assume the fence is down now from that,

1370
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:50,139
from that 30-foot sphere of kittens.

1371
00:48:50,139 --> 00:48:51,259
You know, we've been meaning to open,

1372
00:48:51,259 --> 00:48:52,940
no, we haven't been meaning to open that up.

1373
00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:54,619
That would seem like a weird character choice,

1374
00:48:54,619 --> 00:48:57,420
but now we might become closer as friends.

1375
00:48:57,420 --> 00:49:01,860
I head over to the well on sexy granny's property

1376
00:49:01,860 --> 00:49:04,019
and I spray around the well

1377
00:49:04,019 --> 00:49:06,420
and then turn the auto-spray function on

1378
00:49:06,420 --> 00:49:08,659
as I drop it down the well.

1379
00:49:08,659 --> 00:49:10,860
It's spraying all the way down.

1380
00:49:10,860 --> 00:49:14,780
You see the gnomes that were running from the kittens

1381
00:49:14,900 --> 00:49:19,420
stop and turn and look towards you in the well

1382
00:49:19,420 --> 00:49:22,740
and they got a look in their eye

1383
00:49:22,740 --> 00:49:26,140
and you hear some Barry White music come out of nowhere.

1384
00:49:26,140 --> 00:49:27,580
Actually, it doesn't come out of nowhere.

1385
00:49:27,580 --> 00:49:28,740
And I backed away from the well at this point.

1386
00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:29,940
It comes out of all of them.

1387
00:49:29,940 --> 00:49:31,260
They all begin singing.

1388
00:49:32,740 --> 00:49:35,420
Can't get enough of your love, babe.

1389
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:38,180
It's as low as my voice will go.

1390
00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:39,019
My darling.

1391
00:49:40,940 --> 00:49:42,820
And they're just, they're snapping and they're dancing.

1392
00:49:42,820 --> 00:49:47,820
They're moving towards closing the circle around you

1393
00:49:47,940 --> 00:49:49,580
because they were all around you.

1394
00:49:49,580 --> 00:49:52,380
I have proceeded to back the fuck up

1395
00:49:52,380 --> 00:49:55,140
and then turn into a bat with my bat cloak.

1396
00:49:55,140 --> 00:49:58,620
I was gonna say, that's not how circles work, but okay.

1397
00:49:58,620 --> 00:49:59,860
There's so much hip thrust.

1398
00:49:59,860 --> 00:50:02,220
As I saw them coming towards me.

1399
00:50:02,220 --> 00:50:05,860
So yes, I drape my cloak around my shoulders

1400
00:50:05,860 --> 00:50:08,140
and I say, I go bat now.

1401
00:50:08,140 --> 00:50:09,260
And I turn into a bat.

1402
00:50:09,260 --> 00:50:13,260
Bat flies off and they're moving towards the well.

1403
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:14,420
They're coming out of like.

1404
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,900
And who do we see?

1405
00:50:15,900 --> 00:50:19,540
We see the one with the leash butt plug.

1406
00:50:20,700 --> 00:50:24,340
We see a cowboy with ass lice.

1407
00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:26,180
It looks a lot like Hot Pants Grandpa.

1408
00:50:26,180 --> 00:50:29,780
There's good similarities.

1409
00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:32,860
There's one in full gimp suit, obviously.

1410
00:50:33,820 --> 00:50:36,700
The one that's tied to like one of those cross things.

1411
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,220
I forget the name of them.

1412
00:50:38,220 --> 00:50:40,140
Those ones, they're just kind of like,

1413
00:50:40,140 --> 00:50:42,300
rolling like it's just end over end

1414
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:44,060
because there's the cross there.

1415
00:50:44,060 --> 00:50:44,900
There's the swing set.

1416
00:50:44,900 --> 00:50:45,740
They're pushing the swing.

1417
00:50:45,740 --> 00:50:46,740
Like the swing is rocking.

1418
00:50:46,740 --> 00:50:49,180
There's the furry one, one dressed.

1419
00:50:49,180 --> 00:50:50,020
Absolutely.

1420
00:50:50,020 --> 00:50:52,660
So, Hillop is being pushed towards the well.

1421
00:50:52,660 --> 00:50:54,180
He's in the swing, isn't he?

1422
00:50:54,180 --> 00:50:55,020
Or is there a tiny gnome swing?

1423
00:50:55,020 --> 00:50:56,620
There was a tiny gnome swing, I think,

1424
00:50:56,620 --> 00:50:57,460
is what we saw.

1425
00:50:57,460 --> 00:50:58,380
Yeah, sure.

1426
00:50:58,380 --> 00:51:00,500
You see the one with the giant flogging paddle.

1427
00:51:00,500 --> 00:51:01,340
Yeah, yeah.

1428
00:51:01,340 --> 00:51:04,700
One's got that ball choker in its mouth.

1429
00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:06,380
I mean, a couple do, actually.

1430
00:51:06,380 --> 00:51:07,780
There's a few of those.

1431
00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:09,780
A lot of latex, a lot of leather.

1432
00:51:09,780 --> 00:51:10,620
Dog one.

1433
00:51:10,620 --> 00:51:11,700
For some reason, there's-

1434
00:51:11,700 --> 00:51:14,220
Yeah, a lot of dog leash kind of things going on, yeah.

1435
00:51:14,220 --> 00:51:16,060
Full suit, like a three piece suit.

1436
00:51:16,060 --> 00:51:17,900
Oh, yeah.

1437
00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:20,340
A knight, for some reason.

1438
00:51:20,340 --> 00:51:21,820
The cop from the village people.

1439
00:51:21,820 --> 00:51:22,660
Yes.

1440
00:51:22,660 --> 00:51:23,700
There's a whole group of them.

1441
00:51:23,700 --> 00:51:25,420
Yeah, I actually see the construction worker

1442
00:51:25,420 --> 00:51:26,260
from the village people.

1443
00:51:26,260 --> 00:51:27,100
No, yeah.

1444
00:51:27,100 --> 00:51:27,940
Maybe all of the-

1445
00:51:27,940 --> 00:51:28,780
And you know what?

1446
00:51:28,780 --> 00:51:29,620
All of the village people are there.

1447
00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:31,220
Look, there's also French maid.

1448
00:51:31,220 --> 00:51:33,019
Lots of French maids.

1449
00:51:33,019 --> 00:51:33,860
Yeah.

1450
00:51:33,860 --> 00:51:34,980
There's just a whole group of them,

1451
00:51:34,980 --> 00:51:36,260
like racing each other,

1452
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:40,260
riding one another around the perimeter,

1453
00:51:40,260 --> 00:51:41,420
much like a jockey race.

1454
00:51:41,420 --> 00:51:42,900
Lots of leapfrog, too,

1455
00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:44,300
but they're not making it all the way over.

1456
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:45,300
Yep, no.

1457
00:51:45,300 --> 00:51:47,020
It stops part way.

1458
00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:48,420
And just to be explicit,

1459
00:51:48,420 --> 00:51:51,820
there's a lot of sexual parts just out.

1460
00:51:51,820 --> 00:51:52,660
Oh, yeah.

1461
00:51:52,660 --> 00:51:53,500
Yeah.

1462
00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:54,340
Very much.

1463
00:51:54,340 --> 00:51:55,180
We're describing the outfits, but obviously-

1464
00:51:55,180 --> 00:51:56,580
Very anatomically correct,

1465
00:51:56,580 --> 00:51:59,660
but also a little bigger than what, you know-

1466
00:51:59,660 --> 00:52:01,660
Definitely enlarged in many ways.

1467
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:03,620
Yeah, yeah.

1468
00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:05,540
Much akin to grandpa hot pants.

1469
00:52:05,699 --> 00:52:07,099
Embiggened, if you will.

1470
00:52:07,099 --> 00:52:09,059
So they're moving towards, sorry,

1471
00:52:09,059 --> 00:52:11,579
they're moving towards the well and they're climbing up

1472
00:52:11,579 --> 00:52:14,779
and all of them are falling in following the pheromones

1473
00:52:14,779 --> 00:52:17,860
and you hear, at first you hear like shatters

1474
00:52:17,860 --> 00:52:18,699
down at the bottom.

1475
00:52:18,699 --> 00:52:19,779
Wasn't there water in the well?

1476
00:52:19,779 --> 00:52:21,619
Is there water in that well?

1477
00:52:21,619 --> 00:52:23,219
Was that a dry well?

1478
00:52:23,219 --> 00:52:24,300
I mean, can bats talk?

1479
00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:25,539
I don't know if bats can talk.

1480
00:52:25,539 --> 00:52:26,380
I can answer it.

1481
00:52:26,380 --> 00:52:28,699
There's no water down in the well, no.

1482
00:52:28,699 --> 00:52:30,019
Oh, oh gosh.

1483
00:52:30,019 --> 00:52:30,860
Decorative.

1484
00:52:30,860 --> 00:52:31,699
Oh no, oh.

1485
00:52:31,699 --> 00:52:35,179
Oh, this is, I thought we were just gonna trap them.

1486
00:52:35,180 --> 00:52:37,980
But then you slowly hear like these vibrations

1487
00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:41,180
and pops and clicks, and then you hear like screams.

1488
00:52:41,180 --> 00:52:46,180
Ah, as they all turn into these red caps.

1489
00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:50,460
I fly down towards where Sully and Glim are

1490
00:52:50,460 --> 00:52:52,340
and change out of being a bat.

1491
00:52:53,540 --> 00:52:55,100
I say, okay, now what do we do, guys?

1492
00:52:55,100 --> 00:52:57,180
Have they all gone into the well?

1493
00:52:57,180 --> 00:52:58,060
They're still proceeding.

1494
00:52:58,060 --> 00:53:00,420
Like the ones that are under the pheromone spell,

1495
00:53:00,420 --> 00:53:01,580
they're like falling down,

1496
00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:04,860
but now it doesn't take long

1497
00:53:04,860 --> 00:53:07,619
before like they begin piling up on top of each other

1498
00:53:07,619 --> 00:53:09,340
and now they're pushing back the other way

1499
00:53:09,340 --> 00:53:11,380
with these red caps coming out.

1500
00:53:11,380 --> 00:53:15,420
Oh, we need like a lid or like a giant cork or something.

1501
00:53:15,420 --> 00:53:18,420
Is there anything in that bag you have over there?

1502
00:53:18,420 --> 00:53:19,539
Oh.

1503
00:53:19,539 --> 00:53:20,380
Hmm.

1504
00:53:21,340 --> 00:53:23,819
I was just really digging through this duffel bag

1505
00:53:23,819 --> 00:53:25,659
looking for, yeah, some sort of.

1506
00:53:25,659 --> 00:53:27,460
Some sort of, like mass napalm.

1507
00:53:27,460 --> 00:53:28,299
Some sort of large plug.

1508
00:53:28,299 --> 00:53:29,139
Large plug.

1509
00:53:29,139 --> 00:53:29,980
Yeah.

1510
00:53:29,980 --> 00:53:31,179
Big plug.

1511
00:53:31,780 --> 00:53:33,980
Yeah, a big plug with like a tapered base

1512
00:53:33,980 --> 00:53:37,700
so it would sit in and just really.

1513
00:53:37,700 --> 00:53:39,740
Maybe some ribs to really hold it in.

1514
00:53:39,740 --> 00:53:42,420
Oh, oh, the staff of probing.

1515
00:53:42,420 --> 00:53:43,820
Okay. Yes.

1516
00:53:43,820 --> 00:53:45,140
Yes, let's, okay.

1517
00:53:45,140 --> 00:53:45,980
Let's try that.

1518
00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:49,020
Who gave you the staff of probing, did he?

1519
00:53:49,020 --> 00:53:49,860
You can have.

1520
00:53:49,860 --> 00:53:51,580
He gave us this whole bag of stuff.

1521
00:53:51,580 --> 00:53:52,420
I mean.

1522
00:53:52,420 --> 00:53:54,820
Oh, how about the bed dragon butt plug?

1523
00:53:54,820 --> 00:53:56,340
He got that one in there too?

1524
00:53:56,340 --> 00:54:00,140
So I'm going to approach with the staff of probing

1525
00:54:00,139 --> 00:54:03,299
and see if I can kind of like knock the last few in

1526
00:54:03,299 --> 00:54:04,139
and then.

1527
00:54:04,139 --> 00:54:04,980
All right, yeah.

1528
00:54:04,980 --> 00:54:07,579
Use that to, use that to fill the hole.

1529
00:54:07,579 --> 00:54:11,579
Make a dexterity saving throw to avoid scythes.

1530
00:54:13,259 --> 00:54:14,099
Plus zero 16.

1531
00:54:14,099 --> 00:54:16,779
Just horny little guys with sharp things.

1532
00:54:16,779 --> 00:54:20,659
Yeah, they're swinging wildly all around you.

1533
00:54:20,659 --> 00:54:23,339
You catch the end of like one of them along,

1534
00:54:23,339 --> 00:54:28,339
along your shoulder, which gives you some damage.

1535
00:54:29,180 --> 00:54:31,260
Six slashing damage.

1536
00:54:31,260 --> 00:54:34,180
It's pretty hefty cut you get deep into your shoulder.

1537
00:54:34,180 --> 00:54:38,860
But yeah, you managed to stab the staff of probing down

1538
00:54:38,860 --> 00:54:41,220
into the top of this well.

1539
00:54:41,220 --> 00:54:42,860
And what does it do?

1540
00:54:42,860 --> 00:54:44,620
Well, once it fills the hole,

1541
00:54:44,620 --> 00:54:47,380
I have to like kind of jam it in a few times.

1542
00:54:47,380 --> 00:54:50,539
Yeah, just back and forth, back and forth.

1543
00:54:50,539 --> 00:54:51,980
Just like that.

1544
00:54:51,980 --> 00:54:53,420
So many times before.

1545
00:54:54,420 --> 00:54:55,539
You're doing great, Clib.

1546
00:54:55,539 --> 00:54:57,340
It's nine o'clock in the morning.

1547
00:54:59,340 --> 00:55:01,420
So I'm jabbing it in and out.

1548
00:55:02,940 --> 00:55:06,700
And then it sort of starts to seize up.

1549
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:08,260
And then there's like a release.

1550
00:55:08,260 --> 00:55:11,460
And I don't know what happens because it's in the hole,

1551
00:55:11,460 --> 00:55:13,340
but clearly something like.

1552
00:55:13,340 --> 00:55:15,380
But we get that, we get that like Christopher Nolan

1553
00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:17,180
follow the bullets, you know,

1554
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:19,180
camera view all the way down.

1555
00:55:19,180 --> 00:55:20,900
Christopher Nolan, I tell you.

1556
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:23,059
All the gaps get filled.

1557
00:55:23,059 --> 00:55:25,460
And everything is like frozen in place

1558
00:55:25,699 --> 00:55:26,820
in this like sticky.

1559
00:55:26,820 --> 00:55:30,460
Four of us are just filled with sticky fluid.

1560
00:55:30,460 --> 00:55:31,659
Yeah.

1561
00:55:31,659 --> 00:55:33,099
Very viscous though.

1562
00:55:33,099 --> 00:55:34,659
Like there's no crawling out of here.

1563
00:55:34,659 --> 00:55:36,220
No, it's yeah.

1564
00:55:36,220 --> 00:55:38,380
Why you really filled that hole.

1565
00:55:38,380 --> 00:55:39,820
Glam, Jesus.

1566
00:55:39,820 --> 00:55:42,699
What are we gonna do with the rest of these little guys?

1567
00:55:42,699 --> 00:55:43,539
Kitten bag?

1568
00:55:43,539 --> 00:55:44,380
Into the bag.

1569
00:55:44,380 --> 00:55:46,099
I hold up the bag.

1570
00:55:46,099 --> 00:55:49,139
Running around scooping them up, shoveling them in.

1571
00:55:49,139 --> 00:55:49,980
Don't break them.

1572
00:55:49,980 --> 00:55:51,900
They turn into those really bad guys.

1573
00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:52,740
Yeah.

1574
00:55:52,740 --> 00:55:53,740
And you managed to get them all.

1575
00:55:53,780 --> 00:55:56,100
You still have this growing ball of kittens

1576
00:55:56,100 --> 00:55:56,940
that you haven't dealt with.

1577
00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:59,060
But it'll tire itself out, right?

1578
00:55:59,060 --> 00:56:01,420
That's future us, this problem.

1579
00:56:01,420 --> 00:56:02,260
You know what?

1580
00:56:02,260 --> 00:56:03,100
We can re-home kittens.

1581
00:56:03,100 --> 00:56:05,460
We can't re-home sex gnomes.

1582
00:56:05,460 --> 00:56:06,300
Exactly.

1583
00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:07,140
As the old saying goes.

1584
00:56:07,140 --> 00:56:09,140
That's the old adage.

1585
00:56:09,140 --> 00:56:11,060
Yeah, and actually that,

1586
00:56:11,060 --> 00:56:12,140
because I rolled so poorly,

1587
00:56:12,140 --> 00:56:14,980
that ball of kittens is like starting to calm down.

1588
00:56:14,980 --> 00:56:17,780
Like they're getting sleepy time now.

1589
00:56:17,780 --> 00:56:21,460
And they're just kind of rolling on top of each other.

1590
00:56:21,460 --> 00:56:22,660
There are thousands of them.

1591
00:56:22,659 --> 00:56:24,420
So there's a lot.

1592
00:56:24,420 --> 00:56:26,339
But yeah, no, they're tired.

1593
00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:27,179
Tired kittens.

1594
00:56:28,099 --> 00:56:30,940
So there's a lot of damage here

1595
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:32,859
taking care of this here problem.

1596
00:56:32,859 --> 00:56:34,339
Yeah.

1597
00:56:34,339 --> 00:56:35,219
There was.

1598
00:56:35,219 --> 00:56:36,059
Yeah.

1599
00:56:36,059 --> 00:56:37,739
This is why you shouldn't fight.

1600
00:56:37,739 --> 00:56:38,579
Also.

1601
00:56:38,579 --> 00:56:39,420
Because look what happens.

1602
00:56:39,420 --> 00:56:43,739
Also, Grandpa Hotpants needs to like double check

1603
00:56:43,739 --> 00:56:45,980
on his gifts and stuff.

1604
00:56:45,980 --> 00:56:47,819
This was not an appropriate gift.

1605
00:56:47,819 --> 00:56:51,299
Whatever happened to like jewelry, flowers,

1606
00:56:51,300 --> 00:56:53,260
multiple orgasms.

1607
00:56:53,260 --> 00:56:54,100
Sure.

1608
00:56:54,100 --> 00:56:54,940
All good gifts.

1609
00:56:54,940 --> 00:56:56,380
I'll talk to him about that.

1610
00:56:56,380 --> 00:56:58,980
Give him a firm talking to.

1611
00:57:00,580 --> 00:57:01,420
And spanking.

1612
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,539
Just in case you just missed the context there.

1613
00:57:04,539 --> 00:57:05,380
Oh no, we got it.

1614
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:06,220
No, yeah, we got it.

1615
00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:07,180
No, yeah, we, okay.

1616
00:57:07,180 --> 00:57:08,980
I mean, you have that paddle in your hand

1617
00:57:08,980 --> 00:57:09,820
and you're slapping.

1618
00:57:09,820 --> 00:57:10,660
Yeah, I know.

1619
00:57:10,660 --> 00:57:11,500
Hillop's liking it.

1620
00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:12,740
Yes, very good.

1621
00:57:12,740 --> 00:57:13,580
Yeah.

1622
00:57:13,580 --> 00:57:14,420
No.

1623
00:57:14,420 --> 00:57:16,180
You can keep him for as long as you want.

1624
00:57:16,180 --> 00:57:19,060
Also, you could probably sell each of these kittens

1625
00:57:19,059 --> 00:57:21,500
and have enough money to fix your fence.

1626
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,980
Yay, pay a landscaping company or something

1627
00:57:23,980 --> 00:57:24,820
to fix it right up for you.

1628
00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:25,659
Great, all right.

1629
00:57:25,659 --> 00:57:26,539
We'll sell the kittens.

1630
00:57:26,539 --> 00:57:28,059
Getting into the kitten game.

1631
00:57:28,059 --> 00:57:28,900
You got it.

1632
00:57:28,900 --> 00:57:29,739
And say it with me.

1633
00:57:29,739 --> 00:57:31,099
No more gnomes.

1634
00:57:32,059 --> 00:57:33,219
What about one gnome?

1635
00:57:34,340 --> 00:57:35,179
Nope.

1636
00:57:35,179 --> 00:57:36,659
Well, what are you gonna do with that bag of gnomes?

1637
00:57:38,659 --> 00:57:41,659
Probably talk to them, to me and Mom.

1638
00:57:41,659 --> 00:57:42,500
Yeah.

1639
00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:43,739
She'll know what to do with it.

1640
00:57:43,739 --> 00:57:46,500
Mom always knows what to do in these situations.

1641
00:57:46,500 --> 00:57:47,900
Yeah.

1642
00:57:47,900 --> 00:57:50,539
Gotta talk to Mom when you have a bag full of sex gnomes.

1643
00:57:50,539 --> 00:57:51,380
That's right.

1644
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:52,460
You gotta be able to turn to her.

1645
00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:55,860
Well, are you gonna keep that bag of toys

1646
00:57:55,860 --> 00:57:57,059
or you want me to take that back

1647
00:57:57,059 --> 00:57:59,500
to Grandpa Hot Pants for you?

1648
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:01,740
I think you can take it back to Grandpa Hot Pants.

1649
00:58:01,740 --> 00:58:03,340
Yeah, maybe one in here.

1650
00:58:03,340 --> 00:58:04,700
Oh, no, thank you.

1651
00:58:04,700 --> 00:58:05,539
That's all right.

1652
00:58:05,539 --> 00:58:06,380
Oh, okay.

1653
00:58:06,380 --> 00:58:11,380
Well, maybe just the, what's that whip in now?

1654
00:58:11,579 --> 00:58:15,300
We never end up using it, but it looked good.

1655
00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:16,139
I want it.

1656
00:58:16,420 --> 00:58:18,019
Just this sexy leather whip?

1657
00:58:18,019 --> 00:58:19,460
Yeah.

1658
00:58:19,460 --> 00:58:20,299
Sure.

1659
00:58:20,299 --> 00:58:21,139
Yeah, there you go.

1660
00:58:21,139 --> 00:58:24,500
I grab it and I go do, do, do, do, do, and I snap it.

1661
00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:26,019
Crack that whip.

1662
00:58:26,019 --> 00:58:27,980
Liquorish whip.

1663
00:58:27,980 --> 00:58:31,460
Glim surreptitiously picks up the wand of vibration.

1664
00:58:33,659 --> 00:58:36,059
I think Sully still has the beard comb.

1665
00:58:36,059 --> 00:58:37,900
I do, I do have the beard comb.

1666
00:58:37,900 --> 00:58:39,779
I just, I kept it in my back pocket.

1667
00:58:39,779 --> 00:58:41,139
I forget what all was in there,

1668
00:58:41,139 --> 00:58:42,339
but I'll grab something too.

1669
00:58:42,339 --> 00:58:43,179
Yep.

1670
00:58:43,179 --> 00:58:45,539
Yeah, we'll, as far as all the items,

1671
00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:49,019
a bag of kittens, I mean, the kittens are all gone.

1672
00:58:49,019 --> 00:58:49,860
We've got the bag.

1673
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,579
Yeah, we've got a bag of sex gnomes.

1674
00:58:51,579 --> 00:58:54,980
Oh, we could unleash that on like Orcus.

1675
00:58:56,259 --> 00:58:58,820
Oh, no, turns the tide.

1676
00:58:58,820 --> 00:58:59,659
Yes.

1677
00:58:59,659 --> 00:59:00,500
Hey, can they take over the world

1678
00:59:00,500 --> 00:59:02,219
if they're too busy fucking?

1679
00:59:02,219 --> 00:59:04,179
Flannel Granny takes the bag

1680
00:59:04,179 --> 00:59:07,380
and heads over to Grandpa Hot Pants

1681
00:59:07,380 --> 00:59:11,259
where you see her enter into the cloud of smoke

1682
00:59:11,259 --> 00:59:14,380
and says, oh, we got some talking to do here,

1683
00:59:14,380 --> 00:59:15,460
Grandpa Hot Pants.

1684
00:59:16,380 --> 00:59:17,220
You've been a naughty boy.

1685
00:59:17,220 --> 00:59:19,059
You've been a naughty boy.

1686
00:59:19,059 --> 00:59:21,099
Oh, all right.

1687
00:59:22,579 --> 00:59:23,619
And the door shuts.

1688
00:59:23,619 --> 00:59:27,099
Back to the job posting board.

1689
00:59:27,099 --> 00:59:28,940
I assume there's more postings going on.

1690
00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:30,539
Is Mom Neckbreaker still there?

1691
00:59:30,539 --> 00:59:34,019
Postings, just postings on postings on postings.

1692
00:59:34,019 --> 00:59:36,940
And of course, Mom Neckbreaker's there.

1693
00:59:36,940 --> 00:59:39,820
That's where she basically just stays all Sundays,

1694
00:59:39,820 --> 00:59:41,340
just setting up all the postings.

1695
00:59:41,340 --> 00:59:44,460
There was a posting that said Timmy was in the well

1696
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:46,780
and I just sort of sneak, just reach up

1697
00:59:46,780 --> 00:59:49,260
and I just grab that one and kind of crumple it up

1698
00:59:49,260 --> 00:59:50,380
and shove it in my pocket

1699
00:59:50,380 --> 00:59:52,820
because Timmy is not coming out of the well.

1700
00:59:52,820 --> 00:59:53,659
What?

1701
00:59:53,659 --> 00:59:55,500
Was it the same well?

1702
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:58,860
Did you take the, did you get two for one?

1703
00:59:58,860 --> 00:59:59,699
What do you mean?

1704
00:59:59,699 --> 01:00:00,539
There was nothing there.

1705
01:00:00,539 --> 01:00:02,220
Yeah, hey, we've got this bag.

1706
01:00:02,220 --> 01:00:03,059
Great.

1707
01:00:03,059 --> 01:00:04,500
It's full of sex gnomes.

1708
01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:05,740
What?

1709
01:00:05,740 --> 01:00:07,820
Well, that was a problem between the two grannies

1710
01:00:07,820 --> 01:00:09,579
fighting, but the real problem.

1711
01:00:09,579 --> 01:00:11,420
Yeah, it was all about the sex gnomes.

1712
01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:12,460
It was about the sex gnomes.

1713
01:00:12,460 --> 01:00:13,300
Oh.

1714
01:00:13,300 --> 01:00:17,220
They kind of sprayed their, you know, stuff everywhere

1715
01:00:17,220 --> 01:00:19,539
and made everybody all horny.

1716
01:00:19,539 --> 01:00:20,820
I mean, that doesn't sound like a-

1717
01:00:20,820 --> 01:00:21,660
But forever.

1718
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:22,500
Oh, forever.

1719
01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:24,340
Well, it's not good to be horny forever.

1720
01:00:24,340 --> 01:00:25,180
No, no.

1721
01:00:25,180 --> 01:00:26,019
Yeah.

1722
01:00:26,019 --> 01:00:26,860
Nothing gets done.

1723
01:00:26,860 --> 01:00:28,220
Now and then, you know, little spritz might be good.

1724
01:00:28,220 --> 01:00:30,580
So you want me to take that bag then?

1725
01:00:30,580 --> 01:00:31,420
Well, sure.

1726
01:00:31,420 --> 01:00:34,700
You are the authority in this town, Cityville.

1727
01:00:34,700 --> 01:00:36,180
That's what they've elected me as.

1728
01:00:36,180 --> 01:00:37,620
Okay, here you go.

1729
01:00:37,620 --> 01:00:38,700
Thank you.

1730
01:00:38,700 --> 01:00:40,580
Careful, they're feisty.

1731
01:00:41,019 --> 01:00:45,659
And you want to make sure you don't break any of them.

1732
01:00:45,659 --> 01:00:46,500
Yes.

1733
01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:49,940
Because see, and I show him my arm that's all cut up.

1734
01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:50,779
They'll get you.

1735
01:00:50,779 --> 01:00:52,739
Yeah, no, that doesn't look very good.

1736
01:00:52,739 --> 01:00:53,860
All right, don't break them.

1737
01:00:53,860 --> 01:00:54,699
So do we get-

1738
01:00:54,699 --> 01:00:55,539
Just spritz them.

1739
01:00:55,539 --> 01:00:56,380
Don't break them.

1740
01:00:56,380 --> 01:00:58,340
No, I wouldn't even open the bag.

1741
01:00:58,340 --> 01:00:59,179
Just put that away.

1742
01:00:59,179 --> 01:01:00,380
Yeah, if you could just dispose of the bag,

1743
01:01:00,380 --> 01:01:01,819
that'd probably be the best.

1744
01:01:01,819 --> 01:01:03,019
Yeah, we're-

1745
01:01:03,019 --> 01:01:04,659
Or if you have access to a portal.

1746
01:01:04,659 --> 01:01:08,380
If you have access to the sex plane.

1747
01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:09,219
Yeah, oh sure.

1748
01:01:09,219 --> 01:01:10,299
Or maybe the astral plane.

1749
01:01:11,140 --> 01:01:13,260
You know what, it's handing down from neck breaker

1750
01:01:13,260 --> 01:01:16,900
to neck breaker, the portal to the sex plane.

1751
01:01:16,900 --> 01:01:18,860
Welcome to City Townsville,

1752
01:01:18,860 --> 01:01:21,220
home of portal to the sex plane.

1753
01:01:21,220 --> 01:01:24,380
I mean, you'd think your tourism would be way up.

1754
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:26,420
You'd think, maybe it's just in the branding.

1755
01:01:26,420 --> 01:01:27,260
Oh, sure.

1756
01:01:27,260 --> 01:01:28,740
We need someone to work on that.

1757
01:01:28,740 --> 01:01:31,460
Oh, oh yeah, because it was just the two buttcheeks

1758
01:01:31,460 --> 01:01:34,060
with the giant portal for an asshole, right?

1759
01:01:34,060 --> 01:01:35,060
Yeah. Yeah.

1760
01:01:35,060 --> 01:01:37,140
It's a little, it's a little much.

1761
01:01:37,140 --> 01:01:38,100
Well, and you're kind of getting

1762
01:01:38,139 --> 01:01:39,739
into like butt's hole territory.

1763
01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:41,779
Like you want to differentiate

1764
01:01:41,779 --> 01:01:42,940
when you're doing your marketing.

1765
01:01:42,940 --> 01:01:44,299
You want to find- You want to stand out, yeah.

1766
01:01:44,299 --> 01:01:45,139
Yeah, so.

1767
01:01:45,139 --> 01:01:46,059
Cool.

1768
01:01:46,059 --> 01:01:48,779
I mean, maybe a cute, sexy, no mascot.

1769
01:01:48,779 --> 01:01:51,219
But well, you probably want your reward, don't you?

1770
01:01:51,219 --> 01:01:52,900
Oh, that'd be great.

1771
01:01:52,900 --> 01:01:54,860
Yeah, I think we've really earned-

1772
01:01:54,860 --> 01:01:58,420
What was the reward on that one again?

1773
01:01:58,420 --> 01:02:00,500
14 gold.

1774
01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:01,819
Very low number, but you know,

1775
01:02:01,819 --> 01:02:03,420
it seemed like the fun one to try.

1776
01:02:03,420 --> 01:02:04,460
Butt plugs.

1777
01:02:04,460 --> 01:02:06,539
And butt plugs. 14 karat gold butt plugs, yeah.

1778
01:02:06,579 --> 01:02:11,019
Well, it said it was a, so you get, you get 14 gold.

1779
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,659
You get butt plugs.

1780
01:02:12,659 --> 01:02:15,659
You get a cute doggy gnome in leather with a leash

1781
01:02:15,659 --> 01:02:18,059
and a sex gnome in leather with a whip

1782
01:02:18,059 --> 01:02:20,539
having the dog on the leash.

1783
01:02:20,539 --> 01:02:23,059
One of those butt plugs is the bad dragon butt plug.

1784
01:02:23,059 --> 01:02:26,059
So you're going to want to just take good care of that.

1785
01:02:26,059 --> 01:02:27,500
And you get a free, a vouch-

1786
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:31,380
Oh, I forgot about the free hour at grandpa hop pants.

1787
01:02:31,380 --> 01:02:32,219
Oh.

1788
01:02:32,219 --> 01:02:34,940
That comes with loot packets

1789
01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:38,099
and a discount coupon to Flanny Granny's diner.

1790
01:02:38,099 --> 01:02:39,780
Did you know she owned a diner?

1791
01:02:39,780 --> 01:02:42,380
Oh, I didn't know that, but you know what?

1792
01:02:42,380 --> 01:02:43,220
You did not.

1793
01:02:43,220 --> 01:02:44,260
Like, I'm hungry.

1794
01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:45,579
All that, really.

1795
01:02:45,579 --> 01:02:48,860
Here's your coupon and all of these other things

1796
01:02:48,860 --> 01:02:51,539
that have rewarded you with this.

1797
01:02:51,539 --> 01:02:55,220
Saving the town from sex times.

1798
01:02:55,220 --> 01:02:58,539
Oh, it doesn't really sound like we did a good job, but-

1799
01:02:58,539 --> 01:03:01,019
No, that's not really what we were doing.

1800
01:03:01,019 --> 01:03:03,659
Okay, well, you guys in for some waffles?

1801
01:03:03,659 --> 01:03:05,940
Yeah, I mean, I say we go to Flanny Granny's diner

1802
01:03:05,940 --> 01:03:08,699
and see what she's got on offer.

1803
01:03:08,699 --> 01:03:11,579
She serves the best dish in the area.

1804
01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:14,980
Well, that's what grandpa hop pants says, anyway.

1805
01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:17,299
Just ask for the sexy waffles, is that correct?

1806
01:03:17,299 --> 01:03:18,139
Yeah, you got it.

1807
01:03:18,139 --> 01:03:20,420
Got wieners and peaches on that one.

1808
01:03:20,420 --> 01:03:21,259
Perfect.

1809
01:03:21,259 --> 01:03:22,899
I'm assuming lots of whipped cream.

1810
01:03:22,899 --> 01:03:23,739
Uh-huh.

1811
01:03:23,740 --> 01:03:26,980
["Pomp and Circumstance"]

1812
01:03:53,740 --> 01:03:56,740
["Pomp and Circumstance"]

1813
01:04:03,860 --> 01:04:06,740
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 95

1814
01:04:06,740 --> 01:04:09,020
is starring Amy More as Sully,

1815
01:04:09,020 --> 01:04:11,700
Carla Max dead as Glim, Tom Laird as Moot,

1816
01:04:11,700 --> 01:04:13,500
and Russ More as your dungeon master.

1817
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:16,300
Editing, production, and sound design is by Russ More.

1818
01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,400
This episode featured music from Kavin MacLeod

1819
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:20,620
and Epidemic Sound, and sound effects

1820
01:04:20,619 --> 01:04:23,779
from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.

1821
01:04:23,779 --> 01:04:25,779
A huge thank you to our supporting producers,

1822
01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:28,339
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame,

1823
01:04:28,339 --> 01:04:30,659
Stevie, Jacob Madden, Devin Michaels,

1824
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:32,299
Christian Brown, Aaron Stevens,

1825
01:04:32,299 --> 01:04:34,139
Lulahan, and Charlie Warley.

1826
01:04:34,139 --> 01:04:36,659
Support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions

1827
01:04:36,659 --> 01:04:38,980
and get access to an exclusive podcast

1828
01:04:38,980 --> 01:04:41,299
and bonus episodes, all while helping us

1829
01:04:41,299 --> 01:04:44,019
unlock the special Grant's Flamykins episode,

1830
01:04:44,019 --> 01:04:47,980
Escaping the Abyss, when we reach 100 patrons

1831
01:04:47,980 --> 01:04:51,380
at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.

1832
01:04:51,380 --> 01:04:54,539
You can also follow us at Facebook.com slash dumbdragoncast

1833
01:04:54,539 --> 01:04:57,300
and on Instagram and Twitter at dumbdragoncast.

1834
01:04:57,300 --> 01:04:58,400
Thank you for listening.

1835
01:04:58,400 --> 01:04:59,460
Have a great week.

1836
01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:00,539
We'll talk again soon.

1837
01:05:02,179 --> 01:05:04,360
Is this, now is this our neighbor?

1838
01:05:05,820 --> 01:05:07,940
We have-

1839
01:05:07,940 --> 01:05:08,780
Do you have a sexy granny neighbor?

1840
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:13,340
We have a nightiest of nighties, grandma neighbor

1841
01:05:13,340 --> 01:05:15,260
who shares a fence with us.

1842
01:05:15,260 --> 01:05:16,619
Oh, that's nice.

1843
01:05:17,179 --> 01:05:19,139
Feeling real personal connection to this one.

1844
01:05:19,139 --> 01:05:21,539
Phara-Gnomes by Dumb Dragons Pharmaceuticals.

1845
01:05:21,539 --> 01:05:23,819
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

1846
01:05:23,819 --> 01:05:26,420
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.